First Date Questions And Topics:
Hello!
Welcome to another exciting article on A Moment With Jennie. This will be brief but enlightening. I just need to touch on this topic because there are lots of expectations on certain individuals when it comes to the things to talk about on a first date or the questions to ask on the first date. As usual, I hope to help as many people as I can with my words, ideas and thoughts with this article. Enjoy!
First thing you need to understand is this: The first date is not a job interview. We need to understand that the first date is not where you determine if you will marry this person or not. The first date is not the time to talk about certain things like finances. The first date is the first step you take towards starting a new relationship. The first date will only determine whether or not you will like to go on a second date with that person. The first date only requires soft, simple questions. Just to get to know basic details about this person. Don’t go dumping hard difficult questions on them on the first date, if you do that you will only end up looking like a fool.
People make the mistake of treating the first date like a job interview. While I understand the need and the reason behind this, I also need to caution people on how they come on too strong on the first date with their questions.
Is some cases, the first date for some people is when they will be meeting in person for the first time, so yeah, I understand the need to ask some questions that may be too serious or may come off as too strong. But still, it is the first time you are meeting this person in the flesh, why not chill, relax and just enjoy their company. Enjoy the good food, joke around a bit, flirt a little, laugh at each other’s joke even if they are not funny, just have fun. Why ruin what could be a good meeting with questions and conversations that will only offend and insult the other person? Why not just save the serious, strong conversations and questions for the next time you meet?
Below are a few topics or questions that should NEVER come up on the first date;
1.Never talk about your financies on the first date. No, don’t ever do that. You will only end up spoiling the mood. What is the wisdom behind talking about or asking questions about your financies on the first date? What do you aim to gain at the end of that conversation? This is a conversation for when you know that you are both getting serious with each other. When you know deep within you that you are both on the same page as to where you want the relationship to go, how further you both want to go in the relationship. When you know you both want to take things to ‘the next level’, then you can talk about your financies. Because finance is very important in every serious relationship, you can’t have one person leeching off the other, or one person being a burden to the other person or have one person feeling inadequate because they feel they earn or have less than the other. Or in most cases, you can’t have one person footing the bill all the time, what’s the fun in that? A healthy, happy, successful relationship is when both parties have something to offer equally. He foots the bill today, you foot the bill tomorrow. He gets you something good today, the following week or month you go out and buy him something good too which he will cherish. And there is also a level of pride that comes with having a financially independent partner. Think about that.
- Never boast about your achievements or success or places you have been to or even your assets on the first date. No No. Never do that. Men are particularly fond of this act. They come on the first date and talk about houses they own, cars they have driven or currently own, places they have been to, how many countries or cities in the world they have travelled to just to try and impress her. Why would you want to do that? What makes you think boasting about how many zeros are in your bank account or how many houses and cars you own would impress her? This conversation should be saved for the next date or for the next 20 dates. I can’t even understand why you would feel the need to boast about your assets. Let her see for herself what you have achieved. Let her ask you about them. Don’t offer to share the details without being asked. And ladies also make the mistake of boasting about their achievements and success because they feel the need to be applauded, to be respected, to be seen as equals, and in some cases to be feel superior to the man. How is that a smart thing to do? It is the first date, none of this is required, they are not necessary at all. Just go in there, be yourself, be the you that your family and friends know and love. Let him love you just the way you are. Don’t feel the need to show off unnecessarily.
- Never talk about your ex or exes! Please, I beg you never talk about your exes on the first date. He does not want to hear that. She is not interested in the details. I understand you don’t want to make same mistakes you made in your past relationships. I understand you don’t want your next partner to be like your ex. I understand the need to want to do better. But please save the exes conversation for later in the future when there is a need to talk about it. He/she may ask you about your past relationships and why it didn’t work out, then you can give the details. But definitely not on the first date. Never on the first date.
- ‘Where do you see yourself in 5, 10 years?’ ‘What are you bringing to the table?’ : Avoid these questions and its likes at all cost! Never you ask these questions on the First date. The only thing that should be on any table on your first date is the food and drink you will both be consuming that evening or afternoon (depending on the time of the day it is). You should only worry about where you see yourself in the next 10 minutes to 1hour of the date with that person. Don’t go further than that. This person has no business knowing where you see yourself in the next 5-10yrs, this person has no business telling you where they see themselves in the next 5-10yrs and they have no business bringing anything to any table on this particular date!
Please, let us try and not complicate things for ourselves. Even if you have been talking to this person for months or even years, the fact that you are meeting them in person for the first time ever means they are still a stranger to you! Why would you want to share such intimate details with them? And why would expect them to share intimate details about themselves with you?
The first date like I said earlier is for you both to sit down, chill, get to know each other. Ask about their hobbies, their favorite food, favorite colour, favorite music, favorite movie, favorite actor, favorite artist, which school or schools they attended, you can ask them questions about their family, like how many siblings they have, if both parents are still together. Talk about a movie you have both seen, your personal interests or mutual interests. Talk about some crazy things you have both done as teenagers or as children or young adults. Just sit back, have a fun time chatting about silly but interesting things. And at the end of the date you decide if you want to go on a second date with them or not.
I don’t really need to talk more on this topic. I want to believe I’ve gotten my message across, the best way I can. Let’s stop with the crazy expectations on first dates and stop boring people With serious conversations and questions.
That will be all for now on this topic. I may decided to visit it again. Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie, I hope I’ve been able to briefly enlighten as many people as I can on the kinds of conversations and questions to have and ask and those to avoid. Let’s spend more intimate time together in the next article. Thanks for reading!
A Moment With Jennie 