Dating Him/Her Flaws And All!

Dating Him/Her Flaws And All:

Hello!

Welcome to another article on A Moment With Jennie. In this article, I’ll be discussing the many challenges that comes with being in a romantic relationship. The many times our patients and sanity will be put to the test while in a romantic relationship. And as usual, I hope my words help someone out there as they read. Enjoy!

Someone once said to me: ‘ You won’t ever find a man that’s 100%, no one ever finds a partner that is 100%. Because nobody is 100%. If you want to have a successful relationship, you have to love them and accept their flaws just as you would like them to love you and accept your flaws’. Now, these are very deep words! And I agree with them. Every word that person said to me is the gospel.

First: Nobody is 100%, no body is perfect. Humans were not created to be perfect beings. We were created to thrive to be better than other creatures. And as such, we need to recognize our faults and work on them. Not just work on them because we want to be in a relationship, but work on them for ourselves and for the people around us.

I always tell People, you need to work on yourseld first before you go into any relationship. And part of working on yourself is recognizing and identifying your flaws and your faults, accepting them and then begin to work on getting rid of them, begin to work on being better for you and for your loved ones.

When you spend time working on yourself, you will be in a good position to give corrections, call people out on their nasty attitudes and set them on the right part. But when you have dozens of faults of your own, how will you be able to correct someone else? They won’t even pay attention to you. Because you are not the right person to correct them. Go work on you first, and then you can earn the right to correct others.

Now, back to the topic: Loving him/her faults and all.

Well, you literally have no choice but to love your partner faults and all. Because again, no human is perfect.

We all have at least one fault linked to us. Do you wish to be dumped for that flaw? No, what we wish for is to find that one person crazy about us enough to love us completely and totally, accept our flaws and our faults, hold on to us and never lets us go. Now same thing goes for everyone else in the world. You should be willing and ready to accept their faults just as you would want them to accept yours, love you through it all, love you despite those flaws. You should be ready and willing to do same for them.

There exceptions to accepting his/her faults and flaws and loving them despite these. Do not put yourself in danger all in the name of loving someone flaws and all. Do not hurt yourself, deliberately let them hurt you because you want to love them flaws and all. Don’t set yourself up for ruine because you want to be seen as an understanding partner. Don’t be stupid please.

There are exempted cases when it comes to loving him/her flaws and all. I’ll try to capture the core of these cases in the next paragraph:

1. When he/she is abusive, be it physical, emotional or mental abuse,don’t ever make excuses for them. Run out of that relationship as quickly as you can. The moment you sense any sign of abuse from your partner, take a walk. Nobody is worth that amount of mental and emotional and physical pain, all in the name of love. And never you make excuses for an abusive partner. Never you do that! Being abusive is not a fault, it is not a flaw, it is a mental disorder. That person needs professional help, not you. You are not a doctor, you are not a shrink. And even if you are one, let them get help from someone who is not romantically involved with them. If you are a psychiatrist, you should know better than to enable an abuser. Abuse of any kind; Emotional, mental or physical abuse is not something you should ever be willing to accept from anybody because you ‘love’ them. Because if they can cause pain, they don’t love you and you should not be with anyone that does not love you. Love is not painful. Don’t accept pain from anyone in the name of being a supportive partner or a caring partner. Be wise!
2. A cheating partner is not a partner with flaws/faults. A cheating partner is a wicked partner. Stay away from them. Don’t try to understand. Don’t make excuses for them. Don’t accept their nastiness. Don’t even listen them when they try to make excuses. Walk and walk as fast as you can. Run if you must. Because cheating is another form of abuse, it causes emotional and mental pain. That is emotional and mental abuse. If they do it once, they are going to do it again. If you forgive them once, they will expect you to forgive them again and continue to forgive them until they suck out all the energy in you. Don’t make excuses for a cheating partner, they are NOT worth it. Be wise!
3. A partner that disrects you is not a partner that has faults. A partner that disprects you is a person that does not love you. Love comes with respect for each other. If he loves you, he will respect you all day everyday! And he will never accept anyone who disrespects you either. Because no man wants to watch other people disrespect his woman, unless he has zero regard for her. Same goes for women. A woman that loves you will never disrespect you or make you feel less of a man. And she would never want anyone to disrespectil her man. Don’t accept, take or tolerate any form of disrespect from anybody, especially someone you are romantically involved with.
4. Being dumb/stupid is not a flaw neither is it a fault. Don’t even consider the possibility of being in a relationship with a dumb or stupid partner. Why out yourself through that shame? Why be with someone you can’t rely on or even introduce to your family and friends out of fear of them embarrassing you? A person that does not think before they speak is a dangerous person, stay off! This person will continue to surprise you as to how dumb and stupid they can get by the day. These type of people are the ones that act like they are smarter than everyone else, they never take corrections. They never accept they wrong in anyway. They claim to right all the time. They spew all sorts of nonsense on a daily basis, qouting people just to come off as smart without even understanding said quotes. This is not a fault, don’t… Never put up with this, for your own sanity.
5. Being a mama’s boy is not a fault. No, he needs to go back home and be with his mother. You are not bis mother. Don’t try to mother him. A grown man that has to constantly rely on his mother for everything does not need a girlfriend. Don’t try to understand him, you never will. Don’t try to baby him, you will only regret it Because it shall only end in tears. Don’t try to change him, let him recogboze that he has a problem and change himself for himself.
6. A woman that has daddy issues isn’t a woman with a fault. It’s woman with serious problems and what she needs is a therapist, not a boyfriend. Do not try to understand her, do not trt to change her, let her get the help she needs while she still can. Because if you nake the mistake of trying to understand her, accept her, change her, help her, love her through it, you will only end up regretting and it shall end in tears. Just leave her be. She needs to recognize her problems and get the necessary help she needs.

If you accept any of this from the beginning of your relationship, you will have to keep accepting them for the duration of the relationship. Because if they can do it one time and you put up with it, they will expect you to keep putting up with it and they will never change. And frankly though, it is not your place to try and change anybody. Let them nake up their mind to change on their own, only then will they cherish and value their growth.

There are genuine flaws and faults that can be excused and the ones I mentioned above are not part of them. Don’t start making excuses for people when you are not supposed to. Don’t hurt yourself by being with people who need professional help with their issuess. They need to heal first before thinking about being in a relationship.

They are dirty and lazy, they find it hard to clean the house or wash the dishes or cook.

They have bad phone manners.

They have anger issues(this is broad and subjective)

They have bad spending habits. They are not financially cautious or disciplined.

They are insecure about their emotions, about you, about themselves.

And there are the few minor ones that are not even worth mentioning, these are faults and flaws that can be fixed by your partners in a relationship. These are flaws you can accept and help correct. Let’s know what is right and wrong, what to accept and what not to accept.

That’s it for this article. Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. Hope the words on this article will help someone out there who has been enabling abusive and cheating partners to take walk and never look back. Let’s spend more time together in the next article. Thanks for reading!