Why Walk Away Instead Of Finding Solutions?
Hello!
Welcome to another beautiful article on A Moment With Jennie. This is a very sensitive topic, someone wanted me to write on it and due to the person’s experience in their current relationship, I’ll try to be as gentle as I can because there are a lot of people going through same thing. Judging them or making them feel stupid for walking away from a situation that has threatened to break them down mentally won’t help them heal from their pain. So I really hope to be of help to this person and the people also suffering from same issues with my words of advice in this article. Enjoy!
So this person talked to me extensively about the issues they are currently facing in their relationship. Apparently, their partner has this terrible habit of not paying attention to whatever advice given to them especially if it’s about financies or family related issues which are very important issues. Money and family are very important. And this person is always pained that they are in a relationship with someone that literally ignores them time and again and will instead listen to other people and whatever advice they have to give. But when things don’t work out my friend is always the one who has to pick up the pieces. And now my friend seems to have had enough and wants to end the relationship. My friend feels walking away from this toxicity is what’s best for their mental health. They have complained and tried to talk to their partner repeatedly but same thing keeps happening over and over again and they are just tired. My friend feels like their opinion does not matter to their partner in the relationship, there is no need to continue with the relationship.
N.B: They have actually made up their mind to end it, so this is not a cry for help or anything.
Like I said earlier this is a very sensitive issue and that topic is just perfect for this discussion. Because a relationship where one party ignores the other for whatever reason is not a relationship that’s going to work. Staying in that relationship will only harm your mental health. This person has proven to you time and again that your opinion does not matter to them. They have made you feel insignificant in your relationship time and again. They have belittled you, your relationship and your words, they have in so many ways told you that your words mean nothing to them. Then you need to not just walk away, you need to run as fast as you can because your mental health and your self esteem are both in danger in the hands of this individual.
Understandably, a lot of couples go through different issues while in a relationship. It could be finance, it could issues with sex or endurance or anything at all. The truth is that, once you make up your mind to be in any romantic relationship or comitted relationship, get ready to be tested in every way possible. Get ready to be put to the test. Your patience will be tested, your heart will be tested, you endurance level will be tested, everything will be tested time and again. How you deal with all of that is now left to you. And if these tests keep repeating , you will be forced to decide if you want to remain in the relationship or if you want to walk away. But one thing need to noted though, you can not walk away without putting in the work. No, let me rephrase; you SHOULD not walk away without putting in the work first. Patience is really a virtue, you will get the chance to fully understand that when you get into a romantic or comitted relationship or even you get married, especially when you get married. You can always break up with a partner that moves mad regularly but you can’t just wake up one morning and say you want to walk out of your marriage. How? Where are you going to? Are those vows you made at the alter a joke to you? Those are the trials you vowed to endure and connqeuer. So stay back, endure them and conqeuer them. But it is a totally different issue for couples who are yet to be married but are in very serious romantic relationships. It may hurt, it may anger you, it may frustrate you but really the pain will go away, eventually. If you don’t walk away when you can, believing that the person will change after marriage, you are only setting yourself up for greater pain and heart ache because it is only going to get worse.
I always say this; Before going into any relationship, ALWAYS know what you want, first!
Know yourself and then know your partner. This is what the talking stage is for. It’s more than just asking about your favorite music or artists, or movie or actor… It is also about going deeper and knowing who they really are and what they like or hate, know their depths. Are they temperamental? Are they violent? Is he or she the kinda person you can be with?
There are different reasons a person will decide to leave a relationship. There are lots of problems with many ‘happy’ relationships we see today, you don’t know the real problems because you are not a part of of the relationship. They only let you see the beautiful icing on the cake. You don’t know what the cake actually tastes like. There are certain problems in relationships that the only solution to them is to walk away. That’s the best solution. Just walk away and live your life as far away as you can from that person. And one of these reasons is abuse, could be mental, emotional or physical abuse or all three. The person needs to walk away. My friend is going through emotional and mental abuse with their partner. A partner that ignores you and your words of advice which are always the right ones and instead take advice of other people is a partner that does not care enough or respect you enough and you need to leave that person before they destroy your self esteem and mental health.
Try to recognize the problem. Which is where communication comes in. If you talk to your partner repeatedly about something, caution them even and they still ignore you, then really, stop trying. You have done all you can. Because if your partner respects you, they will listen to your words and take them seriously.
And we always want to make things about us, ourselves only, which is wrong. When we communicate, we try to just express ourselves and our own problems and then we fail to listen to the other person and then understand them. And that’s why it is very Important to work on ourselves separately before coming together. I can’t be your happiness or help you find it. You are supposed to do that on your own. And I should not expect you to help me find mine. We are each responsible for our own happiness. We can only add to what the other already has. That’s the truth we must know and accept and learn to live it.
And sometimes, depending on the individual, when they fail to listen or seem like they are ignoring us, it is a result of fear. Fear has a way of controlling our actions.
And then we also need to think of what the problem is…
Walking away from a relationship for issues like, she’s dirty, she can’t cook, he’s dirty, he’s disorganized, he doesn’t know how to clean up after himself, he doesn’t call me often, she takes hours to reply me…. These issues can be solved, easily. Express your concerns and anger and pain and hurt and then come to a compromise. Because relationship is about give and take, which means there must always be a compromise. Everybody must be ready and willing to compromise at least once because we can’t always have it our way. We need to bend for the other, cave in at least once, on certain issues.
That’s it for now readers! Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie again! Let’s meet again and spend more intimate time together in the next article. Thanks for reading!
A Moment With Jennie 