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Loving The Wrong Person

Loving the wrong person….

Hello!

Welcome to yet another beautiful article on A Moment With Jennie. Let us free ourselves of worry snd doubt as we fill our minds with the words in this article. Enjoy!

Loving the wrong person…. Hmmm. This is deep. This is sad. But sadly, it is true that there a lot of people in relationships busy loving the wrong person. While some may be aware of their situation and still choose to remain there, there are a lot of other people who are yet to realize that they are in the wrong relationship, busy loving the wrong person the right way.

People often lose themselves in love and as poetic as this may sound we still believe in fairytales and we desperately want them to exist. We are a species of fully consumed animals who want to succumb into someone else’s faint arms, we are in constant search of golden armor that comes in the form of love to us. Love is tricky, it happens to you when you’re least expecting it. We often fall in love with people who we never really expected ourselves to be with. We want it to beautiful and pretty but love can be scary too. At times what we feel is the best for us or is the one for us turns out to be the wrong person.

I’ve had some time to do some research on this and I’ll be sharing certain tips on how to know that you are busy loving the wrong person. And also, I’ll be sharing tips on how not to love the wrong the person.

Signs that you are loving the wrong person:

When your feeling of affection is not being returned; You may love them with all your heart, do things no other person would do for anyone else, but they just don’t reciprocate. It feels completely one sided.
When you feel the need to act differently in order to please them or get their approval; You cannot be yourself in front of them. You’re always pretending to be someone else fearing they won’t approve of who you really are. You don’t think they’d understand and worse, accept you the way you are.

3.Your partner is emotionally unavailable. They choose to be distant. There’s a lot you want to do for them but it seems they don’t want your love.Neither do they want to be involved in your life. They have absolutely no interest in you. They don’t know what you want from life or the relationship and don’t even care.

They refuse to pay attention to you or your words; They’re a bad listener. They’re always hearing when you talk but rarely listening. They have no interest in knowing about what you want to do in life, how your day went or how you feel about them.Conversations with them are never satisfying. They don’t seem to understand you beyond your words and always go off on a totally different tangent.

5.Love isn’t what you feel for someone; it is about how someone else makes you feel about yourself. And you just don’t feel good about yourself when you’re around them. You’re constantly unsure of who you are in their presence.

You can talk to them several times during the day but you just cannot imagine having a real conversation with them. They not only miss out on what you’re trying to say, they go on to a different tangent you just cannot relate with every time you start talking about something. Some people just don’t connect on a mental level and there’s nothing you can do about it.
You’ve been with them for a really long time now but you still think you don’t know anything about them. Their whole life is a mystery to you, a world they just don’t let you in on. Loving your personal space is one thing, shutting people out is another.
They take you for granted, so much that it has started to bruise your self-respect. And if that is the case, walking out is the best option, for some people never change.
You’re becoming non-confrontational as a person because they just don’t know how to rise above fights and arguments. You’d rather avoid any conflict just because you’re scared they will turn it into a nasty fight. Sadly, being non-confrontational rarely works!
Every relationship has its lows, more downs than ups. But if two people connect with each other on the root level and have respect for each other, most fights get resolved with time. But if even the thought of making it work leaves you exhausted, you’re probably stuck with the wrong person.
You don’t look forward to meeting them anymore. You’re not excited at all; in fact, all you think about is how to avoid arguments and fights.You’re not happy with them. You may love them from all your heart, but you don’t love how you’re treated in the relationship. The cons of the relationship always seem to weigh the pros down.
They just don’t seem to care about your feelings. They don’t acknowledge all the efforts you put in for them. Neither do they respect you as a person.

13.They’ve been trying to mould you into the person they want you to be and you’ve been obliging only with the hope of being loved but you don’t like what you’re becoming. It is clear they don’t love you for who you are.

It is not always that a relationship fails because the other person is emotionally unavailable. Sometimes, they’re possessive, and that too to an obsessive level, leaving you with absolutely no personal space.
They need constant care and attention. They’re a little too needy and tend to totally depend on you for their survival.
They seem to be a little too demanding. They make you feel inadequate all the time and if a relationship makes you feel terrible about yourself, it’s not worth being in.They don’t trust you. They’re constantly doubtful and insecure about your loyalty. And there’s only so much you can do to make a person trust you.
If you try to get rid of them, they’ll somehow find a way to come back to you and pretend like you mean the world to them until their motive of coming back to you is done. They’ll vanish again in a gify and you would feel like a joker for trusting them again. They won’t ever give you whatever that you’re seeking from them. They’ll never be satisfied with the efforts that you put in a relationship and always nag about what isn’t there.

A few ways you can stop yourself from loving the wrong person;

Figure out what you want for yourself
It is also a good idea to figure out what you want for yourself. In other words, determine what you want and need out of a relationship. Refrain from dating people that won’t meet the mark for you or are unwilling to compromise, so you are both able to get what you want.When your partner will not let you have your way sometimes, and everything is one-sided, this is how to know if you’re with the wrong person. An individual who respected you would be fair.
Work on your self-esteem
Since your self-esteem may be the reason you think, “I fell in love with the wrong person,” this is something that you should work on. If you have suffered past trauma or abuse, it can be beneficial to work with a therapist about these issues. Taking advantage of therapy of this type can make a difference in how you approach diverse situations and assist in learning how to feel better about yourself.
See people for who they are
When you find you are falling for the wrong person, you need to make sure that you see someone for who they really are. They may be attractive and say nice things to you, but do they treat you like their equal as well?Make sure that you aren’t sugar-coating your relationship. If there are things that don’t feel right to you, be honest about them.
Don’t let your loneliness dictate your relationships
At times, you may be falling in love with the wrong person because you are feeling lonely. This happens, and you don’t have to beat yourself up about it. At the same time, you shouldn’t be in a relationship just because you are lonely. Instead, take some time to find out who you are and what you like. This will be helpful when the right partner comes along.
Refrain from trying to change yourself
You should never try to change yourself when you are in a relationship. If you don’t know what you like and dislike, it is okay to learn new things, even while dating someone. However, when you love the wrong person, it may be more difficult to know your interests, and you might be more focused on what your partner likes. In an equal relationship, both parties should do things that they like. One person shouldn’t dictate everything the other person is able to do and where they can go.
Don’t try to change others either
You shouldn’t try to change someone else either. If you find yourself loving the wrong person, you may not notice right away that there are traits they exhibit that you don’t like. At this point, it is unlikely that they will change these aspects of their personality. When you notice that you are unable to deal with some of these things anymore, you need to determine what you want to do about the situation.
Only date available people
It is never a good idea to try to date someone that isn’t available. If someone is already in a relationship or is married, you should consider them off-limits and leave them alone. You can’t ask yourself why you fall in love with the wrong person when you fall for a person who can’t give you the things you need. Keep this in mind when checking out prospective partners or in-between relationships.
Learn how to communicate better
In some cases, you might need to learn how to communicate better for a few reasons. One is to tell your current partner what you want, need, and expect from them. Another is to speak up when you don’t agree with something.Communication is key in any relationship, so working on this skill can prevent fights and allow you to have your opinion heard. Make sure you are getting something out of the relationship. Oftentimes if a person is falling in love with the wrong person, they won’t be getting much out of the relationship. Consider if yours is like this. Determine what you are getting out of your partnership and if this is enough for you.
Take your time finding a partner
You should never rush into any relationship. It takes time to learn enough about a person to feel comfortable with them. This is also the case when you tend to fall in love with the wrong person. When you first meet someone, talk to them as much as possible so that you can glean relevant details out of them. Make sure that you are paying attention and that there aren’t a lot of issues that you disagree with them on, since this can tell you if you should be in a relationship with them or not. Don’t beg someone to date you. There might be times when you want to date someone, and they don’t feel the same way. You shouldn’t beg a person to date you. This is likely not a proper way to begin a relationship, and you may always wonder if they were just taking pity on you.
Listen to your gut
Intuition is a powerful thing. You may suspect or feel that you have been falling in love with the wrong person, but you ignored it. Then after a while, you may have realized that they aren’t the one for you. Do your best not to ignore these feelings, since they could be protecting you and your heart from getting hurt. Don’t let fear keep you with someone that’s not right for you. You may also need to work on how you talk to people so you won’t be scared to speak with a person you like or want to date. Even if you are shy or feel anxious when you are around someone you are interested in, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t talk to them. This may be someone that you are compatible with.

That’s it on this particular topic,let’s hope this article helps someone reading it know better and choose better for themselves. Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. Let’s meet again and spend more intimate time together in the next article. Thanks for reading!

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When Is The Right Time To Say ‘I Love You’?

When is the right time to say ‘I LOVE YOU’?

Hello!

Welcome to another article on A Moment With Jennie. The topic above is a very interesting one and one that people seem to misunderstand every now and then. So, I’ll be sharing my thoughts through my words as usual and hope you help someone reading this article begin to do things in regards to this topic the right way.

So, when is the right time to say ‘I Love You’ while dating?

A lot of people don’t know that there is a time for everything even when it comes to relationships. There is a time to argue, fight, communicate, love and there is a time to say ‘I Love You’ to your partner when you both start dating. There is a time for everything! We need to know when to do what, learn to do things at the right time. Stop doing things because you see others doing it. Don’t do things because you feel obligated to. Don’t do things just with the aim to please. Just always do what feels right to you and that includes saying these beautiful words ‘I Love You’ to your partner.

Couples on relationships use these words ‘I Love You’ carelessly, freely, without purpose and therefore these words have become meaningless to some people. When it’s being used without caution, without feeling, without intentionality, the beauty in the words are lost. Don’t make the mistake of saying ‘I Love You’ just because you hear other people saying it to their partners.

You should ONLY tell your partner you love them when you feel love for them. When you feel it, know it, are sure of the feelings you have for your partner, only then should you tell them you love them. Be intentional with yourself, be intentional with your emotions and be intentional with your words. When yiu say anything, make sure you mean them. Don’t just say things because you feel that’s what what is expected of you. Think deep and hard before uttering your words. Your words should have value and meaning to the person receiving them. Your words of endearment should be cherished by the person hearing them. Your words of confession should be felt, appreciated and cherished by your partner.

When you use the words ‘I Love You’ in your relationship, let it be because you actually fo love him/her. Let it not be for any other reason. Y’all need to stop playing games with people’s emotions and in the long run, with yourself.

People go about saying ‘I LOVE YOU’ to just about anybody they date whether they love the person or not does not matter because they feel it is what the person wants to hear. Don’t do that. And if you have been doing that, STOP IT! IT IS WRONG IN SO MANY WAYS! JUST STOP IT! You are not being smart by ‘playing games’, you are hurting the other person. And if the case were to be reversed, how would you feel if someone else decides to play with your emotions like that. Jist stop please.

We need to start being intentional with the things we say and how we feel too. Love is not something you wake up one day and feel out of no where. Love takes time to build just as it takes time to fade. Love is a beautiful thing. Which is why it ought to be cherished above all else. You beed to sure, be certain of your feelings for this person. You need to know how you feel when you are with them, you need to know how you feel when you are away from them, you need to know how you feel when you think of them, you need to know how you feel when you talk about them with other people. You need to know how you feel when you’ve hurt them or when you are mad at them or when they hurt or when they are mad at you. These are things that should come into consideration when trying to figure out your feelings for your partner. What are the things about them that make you smile, laugh, happy? What fo you like most about them? What do you not like about them. How happy are you with their personal success and achievements? How proud are you of them? Are protective of them are you? How beautiful/handsome do they look to you at every Moment of the day? Are you happy when they are happy? Are you sad when they are sad? Do you want to fight their battles for them? Do you want to help them with their problems, challenges all the time? Do you feel the need to celebrate all their wins with them, both big and small? How do you feel when they seem to have failed at something? HOW EXACTLY DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS PERSON? Your answer would let you know whether or not you Love them and whether or not it is time to let them know that you love them.

And please note that, telling them you love them does not mean you should expect them to feel same way about you or you should expect yo hear the words back. It took you a lot of time to come to the realization that you actually love this person, give them time to also think of their feelings and come to the realization of whether or bot they love you. It took you a lot of courage to tell them that you love them, let them have the privilege of building up their own courage too. Let them have the joy and the freedom of telling you their feelings in their own time, in their own way.

In summary; A lot of young couples have yet to understand their feelings well enough to voice them out. A lot of couples are in a hurry to tell their partners they love when what they feel is actually lust and not love. A lot of couples are in a haste to say ‘I Love You’ when they themselves do not know yet if they actually do love this person or not. Let’s take our time, enjoying the company of our partners. Let’s first focus on the ‘honeymoon’ stage of the relationship and enjoy the beauty of it. Let’s take our time to see if we can in fact invest our emotions into this person first before voicing it out loud that we love them. Let us first accept that we are now in a relationship both mentally and emotionally before professing our love for them. Being in a haste to confess to them that we love may in fact ruin what could have been a good thing because a smart person will always doubt you if you just use words carelessly and that could destroy your relationship. Don’t be in a haste, don’t be in a hurry to love and be loved, take your time and let Love itself lead you. The absolute right time to say tou love your partner is when you are sure, certain of your feelings for them. And trust me, when you finally tell them that you love them, they will feel Every word deep down on their hearts.

I want to believe this article has been and will be of help to anyone reading it. I hope that we all learn to do more and be more. Be comfortable with our decisions at the end of the day. That’s it for now on this exciting article. Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie in this article, Let’s spend more intimate time together in the next article. Thanks for reading!

How To Know It’s Time To Leave Your Job.

I quit my job a while back and now I am having mixed feelings about it.

Hello!

Welcome to another beautiful article on A Moment With Jennie. This particular article is base off a message I got from someone, so I decided to share here as there may be more people going through same issues. I’ll type out the message and then share my thoughts on it. Let’s keep our minds open, judge less and understand more. Enjoy!

” Hi, I left my job a while and at first I was glad I did but now I am having mixed feelings. I feel like I maybe made a mistake leaving it. It took me a really long time to get the job and I was beyond happy I finally got it. I mean now I could finally leave the house in the morning, come back in the evening. Have the security of having a job, a very good paying job at that. I can now take care of my own needs without having to rely on other people for financial help. After I started working, I enjoyed the work load, the challenges and fires I literally had to put out daily and at the end of the day, I go home fulfilled and happy. But after a while I notice that my boss takes advantage of his staff, gives them more work that was required, had no respect for his staff or any care whatsoever for their wellbeing. He kept demanding and demanding and after some years I had had enough of the job. The pay was good at first but years later the work seemed to be a lot more than what’s being payed. I was spending more and more time at work than in my own home. I only go home to bathe and sleep and then I am back to work. I had no social life, my spiritual life was suffering too and my love life was nonexistent. I was gradually fading away while working fir these people. After a while, I decided to quit and I did. At first, I was happy I did. I became free, I hung out with friends. I had more time for myself. I WAS FREE. But it’s been over six months now and I am yet to find another job, which is why I am having the mixed feelings and doubting the wisdom behind my actions months ago”.

Y’all remember how we always talk about self love, self care, self worth on this page? Remember the articles written on them? Well, this is one of those very important times to bring out your self worth, to dwell in your self love, to work on your personal happiness. Because if your job is physically, mentally and emotionally draining, then it is time you leave that job. No amount of money is worth your health. Because let me tell you, if anybody falls sick and dies on a job, the HR of the company will bring in a replacement almost immediately! Life is all about doing what’s right and best for you. That’s all that really matters. Catering to your own needs first. Before considering that of others.

If you are at a job and you are just like this person and you feel like your life is no longer your own, you need to start considering leaving that job because your sanity, your happiness and your health are and should always be what’s most important. Your bosses do not care about you at all and that’s a fact. They only care about thier own business and how you can help their business grow. And that is the truth!

A boss that will keep demanding without caring for you nor your comfort is not a boss you should keep working for. If you work for someone and you don’t feel safe, you don’t have any sense of security, you don’t feel happy, you don’t have time for yourself, you don’t have time for your loved ones, you don’t have time to socialize, then you better know that job isn’t one you still need to continue to work at.

Now let is take this message in bits. Let’s discuss when it is tims to leave a job. You know something is not right with your current job if all you can think is should I quit my job. Being at ease in a job requires time, but that in no way means you should crush yourself under the weight of ‘fitting in’.

While it should be your personal decision whether to quit a job or not, you must consider the following points that can help you decide when to quit your job;

Chart out the pros and cons of your current job and reflect on what weighs more. It will give you an idea of when is it time to leave a job.

Identify what your current job is lacking and what you expect from your ideal job. Once you get some clarity, voice it to the management to improve your situation.

If you feel that your organization is not supporting your needs, trust your instincts and conclude that it is probably time to quit your job.

Before sending your resignation, you should be aware of the signs that it’s time to leave a job because there’s no turning back from it. Below are a few signs to check for before sending in your resume;

You Feel Burnout & Exhaustion:
If your job makes you feel burnout and exhausted and you do not find time or energy to do anything else, it is time to quit your job. It would be best if you kept in mind that any job that takes more than it gives is not worth it. Going to work should not feel dreadful and should enrich your life – both professionally and personally.
However, make sure that the reasons for burnout or exhaustion are not related to your health or any other factor. Make a list of all the factors that could be contributing to your exhaustion, and then decide if your job is the biggest factor or not.
You See No Growth:
If your organization is not providing any opportunity to hone your skills, you should reconsider continuing your stint in that company. You should work where you are given exposure to work on new projects, and where eventually you see yourself getting a promotion.
It is one of the signs you should quit your job immediately if you are working in an organization that does not support your professional growth. Talk to people who have been working in the company before you joined, and try to get honest feedback from them. Has it been a few years for you in the company, and not only are you stuck in the same role, but the people who joined before you are also in the same role? If that’s the case, some serious introspection is in the cards.
Do not hesitate to talk to the management/bosses before you take any concrete action though. It’s surprising how the biggest obstacles can sometimes get resolved by a single, honest conversation.
Your Workplace Is Toxic:
A toxic workplace is one where there is needless stereotyping, harmful gossiping, and discrimination. Workplace toxicity can surface in multiple forms, such as senior management acting indifferently to your needs, distrust among colleagues, high employee turnover, and lack of leadership in the organization. You should know these signs to decide when is it time to leave a toxic job. If you are stuck in such an environment, practice coping mechanisms while you look for a new job.
In case the toxicity stems from a single individual, there’s still hope to salvage the situation. But if that toxic environment is rooted in the organization’s DNA, it’s probably too late. There’s no point in you single-handedly trying to turn the wheel – hoping that relentless attempts will turn the tide – when most probably the wheel is rotten and slated to break apart.
You Are Undercompensated:
You might have accepted the job offer with less pay to grab the opportunity, but if you are highly under-compensated, you should consider leaving the job.
When you accept a job with less pay, you hint to the company that you do not value yourself, which can impact the type of tasks and responsibilities you could be asked to perform at work.
Staying in such a job can make you resentful over time. Hence, you should change your job or request a raise if you have spent a substantial amount of time in the company.
You Don’t Have Work-life Balance:
If your work is taking up all your time and you do not find the energy to do any other work, it is one of the reasons to leave a job. Your job should be a part of your life rather than your whole life. If you are working on off days, not getting a vacation, and often hear your loved ones complaining about your time, you should know when it is time to leave a job.
You Feel Uninspired and Unengaged:
When you start feeling that the current job does not stir you and you often feel boredom, it is the answer to when is it time to leave a job. You might be good at your job, but if the job does not motivate you to look forward to it or you feel you have reached your limit, you should consider finding a new job.
Your Skills Are Not Enhanced:
Your job is supposed to enhance your skill set to grow professionally. However, if the job fails to do so, it is time that you find yourself a new one. Your skill set is your biggest asset in the professional world. Whether you would like to apply to a renowned company or want a better salary, your skill set will take you ahead. Your employer should support you in developing your talents as an employee by offering you opportunities to visit conferences and attend training. If the organization in which you are currently working does not provide opportunities to upskill, you should consider quitting your job.
You Are Experiencing Abuse:
Any physical or mental torture should not happen in the workplace. If you are experiencing abuse or harassment or witness any illegal behavior, it is time to leave the job.
If your office does not offer you a safe space, you should reconsider working for that organization.
Your Health is Affected:
If working in a place is taking a toll on your physical, mental, or emotional health, you should not think twice before quitting a job. Workplace stress has become a general mental health concern which eventually leads to physical issues too. If you are still in the initial stages, wondering when is it time to leave a job, you can consider carving a boundary at a particular time after which you dedicate time doing things outside work. Observe if the company respects that and make decisions based on it.
Your Boss is Intolerable:
What is a good reason to quit your job?
If your boss cannot tolerate you and vice versa.
It is good if you know how to handle conflict with your seniors, but if you have to exercise conflict management skills on an everyday basis, it is time that you quit your job. A healthy office environment should inspire you to be on your best behavior. If your boss is unsupportive and incompetent, you should exit from that organization.
Your Self-worth is Compromised:
Your self-worth should be above anything else, whether in your personal or professional life. If your employer or colleagues make you question your self-worth, you should consider it one of the signs you should leave your job.
Doing a job that questions your self-worth will only disturb your mental peace, and you should strive to grow in a company that adds to your worth, not diminish it.
Your Confidence is Affected:
There can be many situations in the workplace that are not easy to handle. It can be negative feedback from your senior or some argument with colleagues over a trivial issue. You need to know how to manage them.
However, if the comments or arguments are affecting your confidence in any way, it is time that you should consider it as one of the significant reasons to quit a job.
Your workplace environment should make you feel more capable than otherwise. If your achievements do not sync with how you are being treated, feel free to leave that job.

If you ever experience any of these pointers listed here, or more than one of them, then it’s time to seriously consider leaving your job. And when you do leave, you need to focus on you first. Try to gain back your confidence and your self worth. Search for what it is that you enjoy doing most and try to make a career out of it.

That’s ot for this article. Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. Let’s meet again and spend more intimate time together in the next article. Thanks for reading!

Is Love Ever Enough

Is Love Ever Enough?

Hello!

Welcome to another exciting article on A Moment With Jennie. Kindly be patient as I try to use my words to shed light on this topic in this article. enjoy!

“The media tells us that love is more than enough in relationships. But the truth is, love isn’t always enough of a reason to stay in a relationship. Don’t get us wrong: loving someone, or caring deeply for them, is a wonderful thing, but it’s a feeling that can also make a relationship complicated”…. Google (My Best Friend!)

You may find yourself involved in a difficult relationship, and while you care for your partner dearly, you may worry about whether that is enough to keep you together. Finding answers may involve a deep examination of your relationship, and it may require some self-searching as well.

But really, if we are being sincere with ourselves,ove isn’t always enough to keep any relationship going strong. And below are a few examples of when love is just not enough;

When There Is A Lack Of Compatibility; Those in a compatible relationship with their partner will work together at every level. Compatibility is sharing the same interests and goals and handling each other’s differences, resolving conflicts, and planning the future while staying on the same page. It also means that each partner is able to engage in their own hobbies and interests and invest in their friendships outside the relationship.But certain relationships are not compatible. While one is willing to put all the effort into the relationship, the other may not. This indicates an imbalance and starts to take away from the word ‘partnership.’ At times, you may love your partner, but you may not be able to accept their differences.
. When Things Beyond Your Control Happen
Life can get hard sometimes. Stressful episodes in your life, like discovering a severe illness, the death of a loved one, or something else beyond our control can happen. Such instances can change you forever. In such cases, a relationship can crumble if it has been standing on the foundation of love alone.
When You Are Mature But Your Partner Is Not (Or Vice Versa); Many people have immature partners who refuse to grow up. The relationship grows apart in such cases. The relationship grows apart in such cases. This is because most people’s hearts, thought processes, needs, emotions and interests change over time. A relationship can suffer if all it has is mere love.
When There Are Ego Issues
Ego issues are common in every relationship. Ego clashes arise when you, your significant other, or both are unwilling to make up or resolve the conflicts in your relationship. Such problems generally occur due to fear of loss of control over the situation or other insecurities. Imagine a scenario when you are not willing to apologize to your partner even when you know you were wrong. Such ego issues can take a toll on the relationship.
When Toxicity Has Developed In Your Relationship; While you were having a blissful streak of good days in your relationship earlier, your partner suddenly becomes abusive. People in toxic relationships usually do not give up. They hope that their partner will change one day, or they believe their happiness solely depends on their relationship. However, toxic relationships worsen with time. Lack of mutual respect is often a cause for a relationship to go toxic. Abuse always has to do with power and control and has many faces including emotional, physical, sexual, financial, and verbal.
When Trust Is Broken; Your partner lied to you or cheated on you. But you forgave them and your relationship appears normal now. Although cheating may not mean the end of a relationship, rarely can trust be re-established. There are also chances that your partner may break your trust again. When you lose trust in someone, it is hard to confide in them again or keep the relationship going just for the sake of sentiment.
When Differences Exist Between You And Your In-laws( For Marriesd Couples); A relationship like marriage always happens between two families. But such a relationship may not work if the parents do not approve of it. Societal issues, a partner’s socioeconomic status, career, and lifestyle choices are some reasons the older members of a family may not approve of a relationship.
When There Is No Communication; Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. If you do not communicate with your partner effectively, they would not understand your needs, thoughts, and other things that matter to you. The same goes for them too. Lack of proper communication can shake the foundation of a relationship, even if there is love between the partners.
When You Are In A Long-Distance Relationship; Long-distance relationships are hard, and they get harder when the distance between the couple prolongs. Most long-distance relationships do not tend to last forever. Long-distance relationships require devotion, dedication and complete commitment to making it work. Dating someone who is geographically separated from you and has a lower probability of relocating can take a serious toll on your relationship.
When Your Physical Needs Are Vastly Different; Everyone has different wants and desires when it comes to a physical relationship. You may want more frequent sex than your partner or vice-versa. You may be willing to compromise as long as you know you are with the right person. However, this is not always the case with everyone. A lack of romance, passion, or intimacy can kill a relationship. Some couples have different needs surrounding physical intimacy and sex. Lack of sexual satisfaction may cause problems in a relationship even when there is love.
When You Disagree On Your Finances; Finances are one of the biggest stressors for couples, and one of the top reasons for a breakup. Couples who don’t share the same financial beliefs and goals, argue about spending, have different income levels, are under financial difficulties, or lack open communication can experience a significant source of stress and friction in their romance. If these problems are not addressed and fixed, they may eventually cause the relationship to fall apart.

All in all, Love is beautiful, magical, sweet but most times, Love can be painful when you are either with the wrong person or when it seem not to be enough to make your relationship grow. Most importantly you and your partner need to be certain you are both what you want for each other and work on yourselves first ,change yoir bad habits and be willing to make sacrifices but never at the expense of your happiness. Of your relationship pr your partner isn’t making you happy, it’s about time you make an important decision for yourself and for your happiness.

That’s it for the this topic. Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. Let’s meet again and spend more time together in the next article. Thanks for reading!

Should One Separate Their Relationship From Their Family?

Should One Separate Their Family Members From Their Relationship?

Hello!

Welcome to another exciting article on A Moment With Jennie. This topic here is a very critical one. A lot of people have made mistakes that they have regretted and continue to regret based on their choices. Let’s discuss this topic and learn from our past mistakes. Enjoy!

Should I separate my family from my man/woman?

Well, first of all, you need to recognize the kind of family members you have. Do you they love and support you and your choices? Do they respect you and your boundaries? Then you need to know the kind of partner you are in a relationship with. Their personality and how they react when you talk about your family members. You also need to recognize the kind of relationship you are into. Is it the kind of relationship your family should know about? Should your family know this person? Will they approve of them? Is it really worth the hassle? Does your partner wish to meet your family? Do you want your part to meet your family? These are very important questions you need to first ask yourself before you make the decision to either involve your family in your relationship or separate them from your relationship.

I personal am particular about the kind of relationship you are in before deciding to involve your family members. Because you really should not be introducing everybody you meet or date to your family. It just does not look good. You can talk to them about this person but not necessarily introduce them until you feel the time is right for you to introduce them.

When I said, you should recognize the kind of family members you have first, I was not being sarcastic in any way. I was and I am still being serious. There are family members that will be against every partner you have. They will always want to find fault in this person. Even when the person turns out to be great with very little faults, they will pick at the very little faults and condemn this person over and over again. A lot of family members are just selfish and wicked and don’t want what’s best for you. They want you to themselves only. They won’t ever approve of anyone you bring home which should tell you they do not want you to be happy. And if you know this is who they are and how they are and you still go ahead and involve them in every relationship you get into and tell them of Every decision you make in your relationship, you are only hurting yourself. Because let’s face it, not every family member want what’s best for you and that’s a fact.

While there are family members that don’t want what’s good for you or your happiness, there are also family members that want what’s best for you at all time! They will always tell you the truth in all things, especially when it comes to your relationship. These are the ones you should pay attention to. You should always listen to them because they have proven time and again, their love and respect for you.

Know your partner well and recognize how they react when you bring up conversations about your family;
This is very important. A lot of people you will meet has zero interests in your family members and don’t want to hear you talk about them. You need to pay close attention to the person you are in a relationship with. However way they react to conversations about your family even before meeting them will tell you and show you how they really feel about you.

Recognize the kind of relationship you have with your partner;
Is it the kind of relationship you want to go a long way. Do you see yourself having a long term committed relationship with this person. Do they complement you in every way. Do you see a future with this person? These questions will help you decide if you should or should not introduce your partner to your family or get them involved in the affairs of your relationship with this person.

Also recognize your feelings for this person. How do you feel for them. Do they make you happy enough? Do you cherish them enough? Do they respect you at all? Do you respect them at all? And how do they even feel for you? Do you think they love you enough? Do you love them enough? You need to be able to answer these questions as well.

But one thing should be clear; ALWAYS SET BOUNDARIES!
With everyone in your life. When you set boundaries, everyone know where they stand and when to interfere and when not to. They will respect these boundaries you have set and know their place. Know what to say and what not to say. These boundaries will help everyone in your life respect your choices and your decisions. Your family will respect you, respect your partner, respect your relationship and the choices you make in your relationship. Your partner in turn will respect you, respect your decision to keep them away from your family and if you do decide to involve them, they will know to Always respect your family and every decision you make regarding them.

There are People who have zero boundaries, Everybody has access to them and every little information about them. That’s why you see friends disrespecting your partner, your family disrespecting your partner, your partner disrespecting you and your family and friends. This can only happen if you don’t set boundaries and let everyone know their places and how much they are entitled to.

Also note that: Telling your family about the person you are dating does not mean you are involving them in your relationship. It’s totally different and very much accepted. But when you tell your family every single thing that happens in your relationship or tell your partner Every single details about your family members, that’s you involving them. When you ask your family members for advice regarding your partner or what decision to make regarding them, you are involving them.

As much as I would love to tell you there is nothing wrong in involving your family in your relationship, I also need to tell you that as an adult, you need your privacy and personal space. You need to be able to enjoy your relationship without any external forces getting involved in any way. You need to avoid anything that may cause harm to your family or your relationship. Keep everything and everyone in their place. Let your relationship be your relationship and let your family be your family. Also let your friends be your friends too.

For peace to reign in your relationship, for the sake of your sanity and that of your partner, I’ll suggest you keep family away from your relationship. Mind you, this is just my personal suggestion. I am not telling you what to do. Just think things through, also try to sincerely and accurately answer the questions I listed earlier before making your decision. But all in all, always make sure that whatever decision you make will also make you happy and bring you peace in the end.

I hope my words here will help someone out there make a reasonable decision, one they can live with and not end up regretting. Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. Let’s meet again and spend more intimate time together in the next article. Thanks for reading!

Managing Or Creating A Work/Relationship Balance.

Managing A Work/Relationship Balance;

Hello!

Welcome to another article on A Moment With Jennie. This topic is was chosen as a result of a personal request from someone I know. As usual, I’ll try my best to use my words to help this person and a lot of other people deal with this issue and find a lasting solution to it. Enjoy!

Being able to multi task is always hard work. Managing two things at a time is difficult in itself. Managing relationship and work and life itself at the same time is not an easy task and a lot of people are yet to find their way around it. It’s hard, yeah. But there is always a way to create a balance and I’ll be outlining the different ways one can do that.

When you have a great career and a loving relationship, you might feel challenged at some point trying to ensure that none of them suffer. On some days, it may look like this is impossible to achieve. However, it is interesting to notice that you can keep the love strong and climb the career ladder.

With your packed schedule and running to-do list, it’s natural if you feel challenged by balancing doing your best work and being the best partner. On particularly stressful days, it may even feel impossible.
But here’s the truth: Managing a job you love and keeping the love strong in your relationship is possible.
You might just have to work at it.

Here are a few tips on how to manage a work/relationship balance;

Relationships and career are two of the most important aspects of an individual’s life, which should be handled with optimal commitment. However, many people struggle to balance their love life and career.Eventually, they begin to fall short in one of these aspects while the other thrives. One of the primary ways on how to balance work and relationship is to choose the right partner who understands what is at stake.

The most important part of any and every relationship is communication. You have to be able to communicate with your partner. Talk things out. Express your displeasure at certain behavior, habits or situations. And you also need to be able to listen to them too. Listening is also a part of communicating. Express yourself and let them express themselves too.
Have emotional check-ins
When work is hectic, life tends to go by more quickly. Consider taking a step back to do an emotional check-in with your partner. How are they feeling? Do they feel seen or supported by you? Discuss what you both could do to feel more connected.
Slide into their DMs
Sometimes it feels nice to know your partner is thinking of you. If you have a free second at work, maybe you send your partner a text message, a funny reel, or an article you read that reminded you of them. Have a really busy day? Let them know you’ll be away from your phone.

4.Establish a date night, vacations and hangouts together;
Dedicating one night a week (or month) that both you and your partner know is your date night can help you organize your other needs on the other days of the week. It also gives you both something to look forward to no matter how busy your schedule gets. And planning vacations and mini getaway with your partner just to help relieve stress or just to rest and spend quality time together is a great way ot helping your relationship grow. Also work on creating time for casual hangouts with your partner and friends or it cohld3just be the both you, staying home, or going out to a bar, to the cinema and enjoying each other’s company.

Practice active listening
If your time is limited, making your time with your partner count is essential. The best way to do that is to practice active listening.While it may be tempting to check your phone, try to be present with your partner. Avoid phubbing (aka snubbing someone with your phone) as a 2020 study found that, in married couples, phubbing could negatively affect spouses’ mental health.
Set healthy boundaries
Finding a healthy balance between love and work requires healthy boundaries.You can communicate with your partner about the boundaries you need, like an extra hour of sleep or staying late for a meeting, without feeling guilty. You can also set boundaries together, like no phones at dinner or in bed.

7.Ask for help
If you’re stretched too thin, ask yourself if there’s anything your partner can help with. Maybe it’s groceries or laundry. If you’re worried about being a burden, consider this: Your partner would likely much rather be asked to help than feel helpless when you’re stressed.

Be ready to apologize and also forgive
Learning to apologize and forgive is one of the best ways on how to balance work and relationship. Sometimes, your work duties might affect your relationship commitments which might not go down well with your partner.When they communicate their distress to you, apologize to them and try to make amends. Trying to defend yourself might make matters worse. Also, if your partner does something similar, try to understand and forgive them.
Set goals and make decisions together and work on attaining them. Sit down together, write out plans and things you would both love to achieve individually and also as a couple. Discuss on these things, share your thoughts, talk about tje good and bad sides of the ideas you jave both come up with and together, come up with a plan to help each other out as best as you can.
Support your partner in their career path
While you are focused squarely on your work, you must remember that your partner has a career life too. From time to time, ask them how they are faring with work and how you can help if needed. Showing your partner support is one of the ways on how to balance work and relationship and also show that you love them.The absence of support in a relationship can gradually build resentment, which could cause friction in your love life. Show your partner that you genuinely want to see them win in their career.
Create time for each other
Another way on how to balance work and relationships is to set time for each other. You should be careful not to let your love life suffer at the expense of your work. Avoid using your spare period for work every time; you can seize the chance to spend quality time with your partner.
Love
Above all else, don’t forget to practice loving your partner. Showing love could be as simple as a genuine compliment or as grand as taking a day off to reconnect. You can tell them that you love them. You might try making space for intimacy and trying to ensure they feel seen.

If you work opposite hours from your partner, it may take getting a little more creative such as leaving little love messages for them, just to cheer them up, brighten their day and make them feel better. Know that it’s possible to boost your bond even if your work schedules conflict.

Can work affect your relationship?

You’re likely busy, so let’s cut to the chase. Yes, your workload can indeed affect your love life. According to a 2017 studyTrusted Source, higher workloads relate to lower marital satisfaction, and there are long-term consequences of higher workloads on family life. You’re not alone if you’re seeking a better balance between your work life and your love life — and you have options.

Summary;

Before you take your next step, consider balancing on your own two feet, closing your eyes, and taking a deep breath to get grounded. Try to gently remind yourself that you can do what you love and be with who you love — with a bit of balance. Of course, couple’s counseling is also an option if you ever want additional support.

Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. Let’s meet again and spend more intimate time together in the next article. Thanks for reading!

Dealing With Grief.

Dealing With Grief;

Hello!

Welcome to another article on A Moment With Jennie. This is another sensitive topic. And this topic is for everybody because at some point we have all had to deal with grief one way or another. Taking from my personal experiences, talking to people who have had to deal with grief abd also after searching the internet, I’ve come up with a few things I would like to share here with everyone reading. Let’s hope my words bring some kind of comfort to anyone reading. Enjoy!

Grief.

One little word and yet to heavy. So broad. So meaningful. Filled with so much pain and heartache and sorrow. But always know that, Whatever type of loss you’ve suffered, there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. But by understanding the stages and types of grief, you can find healthier ways to cope.

What is grief?
Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain of grief can also disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. These are normal reactions to loss—and the more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be.

Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges. You may associate grieving with the death of a loved one—which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief—but any loss can cause grief including the death of someone, a divorce or a breakup, health problems, financial problems, losing a job or losing a pet, a miscarriage, etc.

Whatever your loss is, it’s personal to you, so don’t feel ashamed about how you feel, or believe that it’s somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things. If the person, animal, relationship, or situation was significant to you, it’s normal to grieve the loss you’re experiencing. Whatever the cause of your grief, though, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can ease your sadness and help you come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and eventually move on with your life.

The grief of losing a loved one
Whether it’s a close friend, spouse, partner, parent, child, or other relative, few things are as painful as losing someone you love. After such a significant loss, life may never seem quite the same again. But in time, you can ease your sorrow, start to look to the future, and eventually come to terms with your loss.

The grieving process
Grieving is a highly individual experience; there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and how significant the loss was to you.

Inevitably, the grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried—and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold.

Myth: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.
Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing, it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.

Myth: If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.
Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.

Myth: Grieving should last about a year.
Fact: There is no specific time frame for grieving. How long it takes differs from person to person.

Myth: Moving on with your life means forgetting about your loss.
Fact: Moving on means you’ve accepted your loss—but that’s not the same as forgetting. You can move on with your life and keep the memory of someone or something you lost as an important part of you. In fact, as we move through life, these memories can become more and more integral to defining the people we are.

How to deal with the grieving process;

Acknowledge your pain
.
Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions.
Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you.
Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you.
Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically.
Recognize the difference between grief and depression.

What are the five stages of grief?
In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced what became known as the “five stages of grief.” These stages of grief were based on her studies of the feelings of patients facing terminal illness, but many people have generalized them to other types of negative life changes and losses, such as the death of a loved one or a break-up.

The five stages of grief;

Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”

Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”

Bargaining: “Make this not to happen, and in return I will __.”

Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”

Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.”

If you are experiencing any of these emotions following a loss, it may help to know that your reaction is natural and that you’ll heal in time. However, not everyone who grieves goes through all of these stages—and that’s okay. Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to go through each stage in order to heal. In fact, some people resolve their grief without going through any of these stages. And if you do go through these stages of grief, you probably won’t experience them in a neat, sequential order, so don’t worry about what you “should” be feeling or which stage you’re supposed to be in.

Grief can be a roller coaster
Instead of a series of stages, we might also think of the grieving process as a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, highs and lows. Like many roller coasters, the ride tends to be rougher in the beginning, the lows may be deeper and longer.

The difficult periods should become less intense and shorter as time goes by, but it takes time to work through a loss.

In summary, your grief is your own. Your pain is yours. Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel or not to feel. Don’t let anyone tell you how to mourn/grieve or how not to. Don’t let anyone or anything be a deciding factor as to how you are to grieve. Take your time to heal and move on. Choose how and for how long you want to grieve for. What matters is that, at the end of the day, you heal and you become a better person.

Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. I hope this article filled with so much research helps you understand your grief and your feelings and how yo heal from them. Let us spend more intimate time together in the next article. Thanks for reading!

Being Friends With Your Ex.

Being friends with your ex…

Hello!

Welcome to another exciting article on A Moment With Jennie. This article will be brief but very interesting to a lot of us. I hope my words will do justice to the topic. Enjoy!

I know a lot of people that will be quick to scream ‘NO’ at the top of their voices when they come across this topic. And I won’t blame them because who wants to remain friends with someone that caused and brought them so much pain and torture? But at the same time, I can’t tell you what to do here, I’ll only make suggestions and then urge you to make the right choice for yourself and for your sanity. Always make sure that whatever you decided to do in every situation is what’s best for you and your sanity.

Exes can make for good friends who know how to support, motivate, and care for you. However, each situation is unique. Don’t rush into it, ask yourself what you want from the friendship, and make sure your ex stays in the past when it comes to your romantic future….. Says Google(my best friend!)

Many people rely on being friends with their ex to ease the pain of a breakup. While a platonic relationship sounds like a great way to keep an ex in your life without being intimate, it can lead to several challenging situations.

Below are some questions you need to ask yourself before you make up your mind yo become friends with your ex:

What do I appreciate or value about my friendship with my ex? So many romantic relationships started with two people who were very close friends, some may have even been best friends for years. They have had to rely on each other for so many things over the years and it may be really hard for them not to remain friends after they break up. They feel safer and more comfortable with this person. They can talk and express themselves to this person in every way and not feel judged. So they bank on this sense of security and comfort and decided to remain friends after breaking up.
How long has it been since the breakup?; Well, after some time must have passed, some people feel comfortable talking to their exes again. They feel they have healed enough, or they have forgiven their exes, and they would not mind being friends with their ex because they feel they no longer have any residual romantic feelings towards them.
What will this friendship mean for your future romantic relationships?; Listen to me, No loving and caring partner will ever be happy hearing that their partner is in talking terms with their ex. They won’t ever want to believe that you are ‘just friends’ with an ex who may know you more than they know you. There is a high possibility of this being a big issue on your relationship. So if you ever decide to remain friends with an ex, also consider how your next partner will feel about that and if the case were to be reversed, how you would feel about it too. Regularly meeting or talking to an ex may signal to a new partner that you are not over them or are carrying baggage from an old relationship they may not want to deal with.Even if the new person is not put off by the friendship, you owe it to them to be sincere and present in the new relationship.

Let’s put it out there: They are your ex for a reason.
A breakup is a clear sign that your relationship did not work out in the way you hoped. You gave it your all but then walked back on your decision to be a couple.

You are not alone in wanting to be friends with your ex, and there is nothing inherently wrong with it. Exes can make for good friends who know how to support, motivate, and care for you. However, each situation is unique. Don’t rush into it, ask yourself what you want from the friendship, and make sure your ex stays in the past when it comes to your romantic future.

Okay, now that we have gotten over the feeling of why being friends with your ex may not be a great idea, let’s talk about why being friends with an ex may not be such a terrible idea. Below are a few points I’ve researched on and believe to be of help to people who are confused about whether or not they should be friends with their ex.

1.It’s the friendship that you miss, not sex with your ex;
Let’s get real: If you’re still reminiscing on the steamy times you shared together, it’s probably more of a recipe for a dumpster fire than a wholesome friendship. So if the reason you want to keep talking with your is because of the friendship you both had and shared, then yes. I recommend You keep them as friends. But if what you miss about them is the ‘great sex’ you once had, honey you need to lose their contact immediately because you will only be hurting yourself if you only want to hook up with them for sex.

You no longer think of them romantically; If while talking to them or thinking about them you no longer feel any residual feelings of love or romance, then you can be friends with them but if the opposite is the case, run away from that ex now!
The relationship ended on safe and not-overly-chaotic terms; I said it earlier, the kind of break up you had will determine how you heal and if you should remain friends with them or not. If it was not a dirty break up, or if it was a very clean breakup, then you can be friends. Because there is no feelings of anger or pain or hate. You can both talk to each other calmly without having urge to kill the other person in their sleep.

4.You’ve forgiven each other for anything that was hurtful;
If you both feel you have managed to forgive each other totally for hurting each other, and you feel you can get past all of that and be platonic friends, then you can be friends with your ex. But I’m still going to say this: If the break up was bad, dirty, painful, just avoid them all together and hope to never come across them again, for your own sanity.

5.The idea of them dating other people doesn’t make you feel like jealous; Well, this is hard one but if you are emotionally and mentally strong enough to deal with this, then go ahead. And if really, you are being sincere with yourself, they being a relationship with someone else does not affect you in any way or cause you pain or brings about the need to be jealous, then carry on with the ‘platonic friendship’.

If you don’t feel the constant need to stalk them or new partner on social media. Or if you don’t feel the urge to constantly call or text them to talk, then you can be friends with them.

But all in all, it is really hard being just friends with someone who was once more than friends with you. It’s even going to be harder hearing them talk about someone other than you with so much adoration and love. It will definitely be hard having to endure constant reminders of your relationship and all that you both shared. It’s always going to be hard. That’s why I will strongly advise against remaining friends with an ex if they hurt you badly and if you suffered a great deal of pain because of them. Always think of you first before anything and anyone else. Always think of your sanity, your happiness in all that you do. And stop falling victims to your own lies. Don’t lie to yourself believing you can remain friends with an ex when you still have feelings for them because then you will only end up hurting yourself and make a big fool of yourself.

Again, I really hope these words help someone make a wise decision for themselves today regarding this matter. And remember; ” AN EX IS AN EX FOR A REASON. LEAVE THEM IN THEIR BOX AND NEVER TAKE THEM OUT AGAIN IF POSSIBLE “.

Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. Let’s meet again and spend more intimate time together in the next article. Thanks for reading!

Getting Over A BreakUp

Getting Over A Breakup.

Hello!

Welcome to another important article on A Moment With Jennie. This topic is literally for everyone (both old and young) and I really took my time to write this article because I wanted my words to resonate with everyone reading it, I could relate to the topic and the many people going through it or have already been through it. Enjoy!

Break ups are hard. In fact, experiencing the end of any relationship is hardest part of being in a relationship. And a lot of us have our own personal break up stories while some have a lot of very interesting break up stories they have heard from other people. I personally have heard and witnesses a lot of terrible break ups and stories. I know of a friend who was in the hospital for months after her break up. Another friend is yet to consider going into any relationship years after break up from his girlfriend. Too many crazy and very scary stories on break ups and how some tried to commit suicide, others fell into deep depressions and some just using casual sexual encounters to overcome their pains.

I am not an expert on break ups or how to get over a break up because I haven’t ever experienced a bad break up which I am always grateful for. I am one of the fortunate and lucky ones when it comes to break ups. Like I always say, I’ve only ever been with amazing men, great men, I never have the urge to hate any of my exes. There are a lot of people like me out there. And there are People who never want to be reminded of their exes because they only have the bad memories left of the relationship they had with them.

So, I had to talk to a lot of people about their breakups and their pains and how they were able to get over the pain and and the break up itself. I also did a deep dive research on Google (my best friend!]. And I have come up with a few pointers on getting over a breakup, bad or not.

First, I want to say that the pain you feel depends on the kind of break up you had which will also help in how you should work on getting over said pain and break up. And never be in a hurry to heal. Never be a hurry to move on. Take your time to heal. Take things one day at a time, one step at a time and eventually you will grow past the pain, you will feel better. You will become a better person because of your pain and because of your experiences. A quick quote below summarizes what a breakup is.

“A breakup is a classic example of what we call an ambiguous loss, which is where the grief of the loss of a relationship is often complicated by a lack of closure,” Michaela Decker, a licensed marriage and family therapist says.

Below are a few tips on how to get over a break up:

Think about your breakup as a physical injury:
Andrea Liner, Psy.D., suggests trying to give yourself the same grace when healing from having your heart broken that you would if you were experiencing a medical issue. “You may not be operating at 100%, and that’s okay,” Dr. Liner tells SELF, noting that you wouldn’t beat yourself up for not going to the gym after, say, breaking your leg. “Extend yourself the same kindness for going through an emotional injury,” she says.
Give yourself permission to feel your feelings.
Susan Birne-Stone, Ph.D., a licensed clinical social worker in Brooklyn, suggests setting a timer and giving yourself 10-20 minutes to feel whatever you are feeling without judgment. Write out any thoughts about the breakup in a letter that you will never give your ex (or just speak your thoughts out loud). When that timer goes off, ask yourself: “What do I need now? Do I need to speak with someone that loves me? Do I need to do something physical? Do I need to take a shower, eat, self-pleasure, watch a movie? What will be nurturing in this very moment that will also feel good after?” You can repeat this as needed!
Reconnect with things that make you happy.
Dr. Liner suggests dusting off old hobbies you may have stopped doing while busy in your relationship. “We naturally shift away from various activities while dating, and it can be empowering to get back to them,” she explains.
Surround yourself with good support—and lots of it.
Naturally, your inclination may be to lean on your friends for support during and after a breakup. Try not to let embarrassment or anxiety hold you back from doing just that. “One of the things I hear most from clients going through breakups is that they’re worried about burdening or annoying their networks,” says Dr. Liner. “So it can be helpful to rotate who you’re talking to.” Depending on the specifics of your situation—like if the breakup was expected and if you’ve been keeping up with your friends a normal amount during your relationship—they may not be surprised to hear the news. Hopefully, they’ll spring into action and help you feel better in the specific ways that only people who really know you can.
And apologize to your support system if you need to.
But if you’re itching to reach out to people you’ve lost touch with for some reason, whether it’s getting caught up in your relationship or the madness of the pandemic, you can reach back out—and own your mistake if you need to, Dr. Liner says. For instance, if you basically fell out of orbit because you were that in love, she offers a few scripts to try: “I know I stopped prioritizing our friendship while I was in my relationship, and I really regret that. I’d love a chance to reconnect with you if you’re open to it.” Or, “I got really caught up in having a significant other and now see that it wasn’t cool of me to disappear on you like that.”
Consider finding a therapist if you don’t already have one.
“Having an unbiased, neutral, third-party observer is instrumental in gaining a deeper understanding in what happened, what your role was, and how you can learn and grow from it as you pursue future relationships,” says Dr. Liner. This is extra important if your mental health has been heavily impacted by your breakup. “I place extra emphasis on this advice for anyone who is experiencing a significant decline in functioning: not eating or sleeping, missing or struggling at work, major changes in mood or personality, or having intrusive or suicidal thoughts,” Dr. Liner says.
Put away as many painful reminders of your ex as you can.
“The healthiest coping mechanism is getting rid of everything associated with this person,” says Zaman. (As you’ll see in a bit, that doesn’t necessarily mean trashing everything.) Maintaining the option for communication or even saving old texts or phone calls, according to Zaman, “keeps hope that [you’ll] possibly get back together. It could also hinder the ability to move on with your life without this person in it.”
That said, one day after you’ve processed the relationship and can even look back on it fondly, you may wish you still had certain mementos from your time together, which brings us to our next tip.

8.Try dating yourself. (Yes, seriously.)
In case you’re tempted to roll your eyes at this one, know that it really can be helpful. “Whenever I am dealing with a breakup, I always act as if I am in a relationship with myself,” says Jeanine Duval, the editor of an online Tarot and astrology resource in Montreal. She takes herself on dates, cooks herself exciting meals, the whole nine. “Treat yourself like you are the best partner in the world! Because newsflash: You are your own best partner,” she says.

Don’t keep tabs on your ex.
You don’t need to know about what they are up to, so don’t fall into the trap of lurking on their social media or having mutual friends keep you updated. Knowing what they’re up to will not help you move on. “If you find yourself obsessively checking their [social media], it would benefit you to either unfriend, block, or hide them, as is an option on some apps,” Decker explains. Again, this is a time you may need to enlist the help of a friend who can take these steps for you if it’s too much to do them on your own. AND PLEASE DO NOT HOOK UP WITH THEM, NO MATTER HOW TEMPTED YOU MAY GET!
Take a break from dating if you’re not ready.
Being single again might seem scary, but you don’t have to force anything. Jumping into something too soon, Decker says, can backfire when you have not yet fully processed your breakup. “This can lead to additional stress and regret that will further complicate the healing process,” she explains. And periodiy check in with yourself to see if you are ready to get back out there and meet someone new with the possibility of starting a new relationship. And you can know you are ready when you feel more happy emotions than sad ones, when you are more happy with yourself and your achievements and the people around and the things that you do. When you are more positive than negative. When you think of you remember your ex and your relationship with them and not feel any sense of loss or pain. Then you know for sure you are ready.
Don’t engage in revenge posting.
You know the posts—where you’re curating your social media with the intention of posting things your ex will see (or hear about through mutual friends) in order to elicit jealousy, show them how great you’re doing, or just generally behaving with them in mind. This causes you to still prioritize them and allows them to take up significant real estate in your mind. There’s nothing inherently wrong with these kinds of posts, but if you’ll be disappointed if your ex doesn’t watch your story or text you after a particularly great post on your feed, that’s a sign to proceed with caution.
Focus on creating new memories.
After a breakup, it can be hard to go to your local coffee shop, listen to your favorite artist, or take your dog for a walk without your former partner if those are the things you used to do to bond. But use this opportunity to create new memories of your own that aren’t tied to your ex. “Try going to a restaurant you and your ex frequented with friends instead and choosing to have a great time, or picking a new restaurant and creating a new memory,” says Sam Bolin, a licensed clinical social worker in Linthicum, Maryland.
Don’t wait for “closure” before letting yourself move on.
Having a mentality of “I’ll be over it when X, Y, or Z happens” is a surefire way to continue pushing off your healing. You may never get the apology or explanation you’re seeking—so your healing cannot be dependent on that. It is inevitable that there will be things that will remind you of your ex periodically as the months pass by. This is perfectly normal, says Zaman, and indicative of why there is no “perfect” form of closure, even after leaving a good relationship.

After talking to people and doing my own personal research online, these are a few points I was able to come up with. I really hope these points help you heal and move on to being a happier, healthier person.

Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. Let’s meet again and spend more intimate time together in the next article. Thanks for reading!

Learning And Knowing When To Say No And Meaning It.

Learning and knowing when and how to say no and mean it:

Hello!

Welcome to yet another article on A Moment With Jennie. With the words written in this article in relation to the topic, I hope to help as many as I can, get their courage on how to deal with every situation. Let’s read with an open mind and learn the little we can from it. Enjoy!

Learn when and how to say no and mean…. This is a very powerful topic and it is for everybody! As long as you have family members, colleagues, friends, significant others, this topic relates to you and you need to read and learn!

When do you say no to crazy demands and expectations from loved ones?

Listen to me, the need for boundaries is needed for your own sanity. If you are open to every suggestion all the time from everybody, you will be drained until there is nothing left of you to give. If you give people the chance, they will take and continue to take until there is nothing left for you to give. That’s why that topic on self love and self care and self worth is of great importance to every living being. You must know your self worth, you must love yourself and care for yourself. You must build your self esteem. Only then can you be courageous enough to face the world and the many self centered humans living in it. Only then will you be able to boldly reject certain disrespect and crazy demands from people, especially those closest to you. Because those closest to you have the easiest access to you and sometimes they feel that gives them the right to Always ask and always take without a care for you nor your comfort. Because they know you can’t ever say no to them. Well, it’s time you start saying no and standing firm by it, say it to them and mean it. Do not flinch. Let them see and know how serious you are about your decision.

Being a people’s pleaser does not mean they love you or care about you or that they will also want to please you. Rather, they will walk all over you because they know you are soft and sweet and always nice, so they take your kindness for granted.

Not saying ‘NO’ because you feel bad or feel guilty and don’t want to hurt the other person only means you are willing to hurt yourself for them. It’s not worth it.

Not saying ‘No’ to people because you are scared of disappointing them is bad for your mental health. You need to start thinking of yourself. And saying NO to certain people is part of looking after yourself. Because saying ‘NO’ occasionally will help your mental health a great deal.

Not being able to say NO because you doubt yourself is a result of very low self esteem and you need to work on that. It’s not going to be easy, I know that. It was not easy for me too. But I learned, I practiced, I read books and I’ve improved a great deal. And I hope you will work on being better for yourself after reading this article.

Always feeling the need to please people will only harm you and drain you of precious energy. You need to recognize how wrong it is for you to always feel the need to say yes and please everyone.

Specific reasons one must say no and mean it:

If their request is ridiculous and extremely demanding or tasing for you, gently say NO to them. Don’t bother giving a long speech as to why you are saying NO. Just say ‘I’m sorry I already have so much to do, I can’t help you with that’. Or you say ‘Sorry I can’t do that, find someone else to do it for you’. Or you can just be really bold and say ‘NO’ and not bother with a reason. I like the last option best, the other two were too polite.
If you feel uncomfortable with what they are asking of you, please say no. If you are not comfortable doing it, then clearly it is bad for you. Don’t think too much about it. Say No, as calmly and be as polite as you can be but mean every word you say so they can see and know that you being serious.
If there is a feeling of guilt on your part when the request was made, this is a good time to be firm with your rejection and really mean it. If you feel guilty then it was not meant for you to do to begin with.
If you feel the need to say yes just to please them, that’s a situation that requires a big fat ‘NO’ please. They know you don’t have it in your to say no, they know you consider them to be of great importance to you, so they will keep asking and asking and demanding until you literally have nothing left to offer them.
When you feel that they are taking for granted. I know we all feel it when someone is actively taking us for granted. We know by their actions, their words, their tone, their demands, we see it in the way they look at us and how much they disrespect us by the things they make us do or ask us to. That’s when we need to start saying NO to them, wake them up from whatever self centred universe they are sleeping in with a resounding NO.
When we feel offended by the words they use, or the request they are making, then we know for sure that we must say NO as quickly and as firmly as we can.

Saying No is an important part of self care. We must and should learn and practice how to say NO and mean it. It helps our self growth, it helps our mental well being, it helps us function better mentally and emotionally. When you start thinking more about yourself instead of who to please or what you have to do whom, you begin to experience a different kind of glow within you which will reflect in every area of your life positively.

Ways to politely say NO to people:

Sadly, I have something else going on.
I have another commitment.
I wish I were able to.
I’m afraid I can’t.
I don’t have the bandwidth for that right now.
I’m honored you asked me, but I simply can’t.
Thanks for thinking of me. However, I’m not able to.
I’m sorry, I’m not able to fit this in.
Unfortunately, I already have plans. Maybe next time!
No, thank you, but it sounds lovely

Helpful tips on how to say NO:

Practice saying no. Knowing when to say no takes time and practice. The more often you say no, the easier it will become. Practice assertiveness in all areas of your life until the habit is built into your lifestyle.
Express gratitude for being asked. If someone asks you to do something and you respond with a no, a little bit of gratitude might help soften the delivery. Expressing thanks for being offered a new task will show others you care about their position, too.
Seek advice from others. Almost everyone can relate to the dilemma of people-pleasing. Ask your friends and family members if they have any tips. For professional advice, seek help from a mental health professional. They can give you expert guidance on how to say no the next time you feel put on the spot.
Understand the power of influencing tactics. Influencing tactics are strategies used to engineer a specific outcome. By gaining a better understanding of how influence works (particularly in the workplace), you can become a stronger and more assertive employee.
Be assertive but respectful. Not everyone who asks you to do something is trying to take advantage of you. They may just be desperate for assistance. If you can’t accept their offer, be respectful in how you communicate with them.
Don’t beat around the bush. Providing long-winded explanations about why you can’t do something rarely makes things easier. Instead, opt for a short, simple, and straightforward approach to saying no.
Take your time to make an informed decision. If you’re uncertain about whether you want to accept a new task, that’s okay. Take your time to consider the pros and cons, and then you can re-enter the conversation with a clear head.

I had to go do research on easier, more polite ways to learn how to say NO and mean it Because if I decide to use my own words they may not come out as nice or as polite as the words above. But most of all, I really hope this article will help you beautiful souls who are quick to please people and say yes to every demands or request learn to say a very firm NO and stand by it.

Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie on this article. Let’s spend more intimate time together in the next article. Thanks for reading!