Sex On The First Date;Yes Or No?

Sex on the first date, yes or no?

Hello!
Welcome to another article on A Moment With Jennie! This topic is a very special topic to me really. I’ve had countless arguments and conversations with people on this particular topic and really though, what’s the point of arguing? Everyone has their own beliefs and way of life and as I always say, YOU DO YOU! As usual I’ll be sharing my thoughts and opinions on this topic and the reasons behind my beliefs and hope that my words will be of help to somebody, anybody reading them.

Do you believe in having sex on the first date?
Should you open up the cookie jar on the first date?
Is it a smart move to have sex on the first date?

My answer to these questions is one and the same; Do you! Whatever works for you is what you should do, always.
Why?

Listen: Every body has got their own personal beliefs and way of life. We all have things that work for us but the fact that it works for you does not mean it will work for the next person. Why impose your beliefs and methods or style or way of living on other people?

I don’t impose my ideas on people. I’ll never tell you, this is what you should do. What I will tell you is this: In whatever you do, in whatever decision or action you take, make sure you don’t end up regretting it.

Let’s be realistic; Is it a crime to have sex on the first date? Who is the judge on that? And why do we feel, think or believe that it is in fact a bad or terrible idea to have sex on the first date? I don’t see anything wrong with doing what you want.

Let’s make one thing clear:
Going on a first date is to know if this person is compatible with me or not. Do we have a vibe? Is there any chemistry? Do I find him/her funny? Do I find him/her attractive? Is he smart or is she smart? Do I like how they look to me and how they look at me? Am I comfortable being with him/her? These are relatively the reason we make the decision to go on that first date with anybody. Sometimes we have been communicating with this person on the phone for days, weeks, months and sometimes years and then the chance to actually meet in person comes and we decided to go and hang out with the person. If he/she ticks all the boxes, then why should you not have sex if it is what you are comfortable with?

It is not okay for a woman to have sex with the guy on the first date. Says who?

I don’t want to come off as cheap and easy, that’s why I can’t have sex on the first date. Honey, be real to yourself. However you see yourself and present yourself is how everyone else will see you, treat you and address you.

What if all he wants from me sex? Then after we have sex on the first date, he will leave me. Good radiance! Isn’t it better he leaves you now than for him to leave you six months, one year down the road? Is it not better he leaves you now that you are yet to invest time and effort on him than for him to leave you after months and years of time and effort wasted? Because believe me if sex is all he wants from you, whether you give it to him on the first date or on the 100th date, he is still going leave you after the sex. The only difference will be the wasted time on your part. Because while he was busy wooing you, giving you the attention and making your heart flutter in excitement(which you will mistake for love) he is busy doing same thing with a list of other women. So, in the end, he will waste your time and he will leave you, after the sex on the 100th date.

So, really what is the reason you are against having sex on the first date?

The only reason that is valid for ‘no sex’ on the first date or any relationship is if you have the belief of ‘no sex before marriage’. Then the first date sex conversation does not involve you at all. You should not even be talking about having sex at all until you are married. That is a whole different case altogether.

So, should you have sex on the first date?
Again, if you feel the need to, go ahead an do it. Holding out won’t stop the relationship from crashing, it won’t stop him from leaving you, it won’t stop him from hurting you or disrespecting you if that’s who he is.

I said it before, however you see yourself and present yourself is how everyone else will see you and address you or treat you.

If you go on a date for the first with him/her. They look better than they do in their pictures. They sound better than they do over the phone. They smell good. They clean up well. She laughs at all your jokes, he looks at you like you are the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. They have commendable table manners. They possess admirable manners in general. The chemistry is on the very high side. You both end up enjoying each other’s company and you feel the need to end the date and the night with each other, then go right ahead. Just make sure it isn’t something you will end up regretting in the morning. Make sure the alcohol you consumed at dinner isn’t the one doing the thinking for you (well, some people will say you can always blame it on the alcohol if it turns out bad, but no please. Don’t let alcohol control your senses, ever.). Make sure you over sensitive, responsive libido isn’t the one doing the thinking for you either. You must make the decision to have sex or be intimate with anybody with a clear mind or clear head.

And most importantly, make sure no body is forcing to do anything. If during dinner he/she keeps hinting on have sex later that night and it does not make you comfortable, then do not ever go home with them. Kindly thank them for their company and for dinner and excuse yourself. Get out of there as fast as you can.

Listen, don’t let anyone lie to you or tell you that having sex on the first is wrong. Don’t listen to them. They probably have terrible experiences of having sex on the first date, it does not mean same fate awaits you. Always know what you want and always know how to go about getting what you want.

The reason I am not against having sex on the first date is that I have no right to tell anyone what to do. I have no right to judge anybody. But mostly because, most first dates do not happen by chance. Most times, these people have been communicating for months, sometimes years. They have gotten comfortable talking to each other daily. They know almost everything about each other, they have shared too much with each other. They have come to really know and understand each other. Now tell me why you wanna judge her and call her easy for having sex with someone she has known for months or years?

I have watched and listened to a lot ‘relationship experts’ condemn women for having sex with a man on the first date. I have also heard these same experts tell women ‘don’t ever have sex on the first date’. Talks like this irritate me. They say they speak out of experience. Well, let me say this: the fact that you had sex with him on the first date is NOT the reason he left you. If he called you cheap, then that is on him and not you, he has serious issues that he needs help with, he is at fault not you, what he needs a therapist and not a gurlfriend. Or may he called you cheap because of a certain behaviour you show, then that’s on you. Don’t go about blaming the sex on the first date.

But… If you go on a date and you are just not comfortable with him or you feel you just don’t feel good going home with him, then don’t go home with him. Like I said earlier, ‘Do You Always’. And make sure you have zero regrets. Never do something, anything you will end up regretting.

In summary: Having sex on a first date is not a crime. Only do it if you are comfortable with the person, only if you are okay doing it. Let it be your choice, your decision. Don’t do it Because someone somewhere told you it is a good idea and don’t refuse to do it Because someone somewhere told you it is a bad idea or that it will make you look easy or cheap. Just do whatever makes you happy and never have regrets!

That’s it for now. Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. I hope this article will help somebody make the right decision base on this particular topic. Let’s spend more time together in the next article. Thanks for reading!