The talking stage in any/every relationship:
Hello!
Welcome back to yet another exciting article on A Moment With Jennie. Today’s topic as usual is another important thing that is very much underated. I will be sharing my ideas and thoughts as well as personal experiences as is our usual here and hope that somehow, somewhere, my words will help many people correct a lot of things they have been doing wrong and begin to work on doing and being better for themselves and for the people around them.
Personally, I believe the talking stage is the most important part of any and every relationship. And unfortunately for a lot people, this stage is often times over looked, misused. And as a result, lots of people end up suffering lots of emotional and mental and to an extent physical abuse in their relationships.
First off, do you know what the talking stage of a relationship is? Do you know how it works? Do you even understand how important it is? Do you think it is even worth it? Do you consider it to be of any use or importance?
Let us answer these questions before going into the topic proper;
- What is ‘the talking stage’ of a relationship?
This is usually the beginning, the starting point of every relationship. You meet someone or someone is being introduced to you, you start talking(phone calls, texts, chats, a few dates here and there). It is the stage where you get to know each other. This is where you decide if this person is someone you want to have in your life or not. Depending on the outcome of this ‘talking stage’ you either start a new relationship or you both go your separate ways, never to see each other again. - Do you know how it works?
This is a valid question really. Because a lot of people do not understand the importance of the talking stage, they tend not to know what to do at this stage. How does it work? This is when you need to know what you are looking for in a partner. Once you know what kind of relationship you want, you know the kind of questions to ask. You know what signs to look out for, you know how to test this person or sound them out to get result or answers you desire. You know how and when to go forward or take a walk. You learn about the other person as much as you would like them yo learn about. You think first before you respond to questions. You become vocal with what you want and like and also pay attention to what they want and like. You check and confirm if you and this person are compatible or not. This is the opportunity to get to know the person before commiting into a relationship with them. - Do you understand how important it is?
Again, a valid question. Why? Because this talking stage helps know yourself and know the person you are about to get into a relationship with. This talking stage is the deciding factor of your relationship(if you will be having one with this person or not). This talking stage is what will help know what you can tolerate and what you can not going forward. This stage will set the tone of what kind of relationship you will be going into. - Do you think it is worth it? Do you consider it to be of any use or importance?
My dear readers, it is worth it. Ot is of great importance. There are People stuck in relationships and marriages that they wish they can get out of but do not know how to. The talking stage should not be taking lightly. It should be consider an important part of your relationship if not the most important part of your relationship. If you put in as much effort as you plan on putting in your relationship into the talking stage, you will save yourself a lot of stress down the road. It help you miss out on what would have been a disaster in disguise of a relationship. The talking stage is worth every effort, every energy, every sincerity, every truth and confidence you put into it. Because on the long run, you will be happy you did it.
I always tell People to spend time during the talking stage. Don’t be in a hurry. Don’t be in a haste to start something that you may end up regretting. Take your time, sort out your thoughts and emotions, get to know the person you are talking to. Get to understand them. Make them understand you. Be patient in listening as you would also love to be heard. Read every sign you get. Read meaning into every word and action, every tone used. Ask all the questions. Get to know him or her. I can’t emphasize enough on this. Get to know the person you are about to commit to. Don’t rush into a relationship or marriage only to rush out of it with regrets and tears and complaints.
A lot of people are in abusive relationships today because they ignored the signs. Some of them saw the signs but failed to acknowledge it Because they felt they loved the person too much to let them go. My dear, love is not painful. Love should never and can never be painful. Love does not hurt. Rather it heals, it nurtures, it cares, it saves. The point I am trying to make here is this; they saw the signs during the talking stage but ignored it. They heard the tone this person talked to them with, they ignored it. They saw the looks this person gave them, they ignored it. They heard the harsh words this person was using on from the beginning and they chose to ignore it.
During the talkin stage, whatever you accept at this point is what you will continue to accept in your relationship. Whatever you grant them permission to do is what they will continue to do. Whatever tone and behaviour they start the relationship with, is what they will continue with. It is left to you to decide if that is what you want for yourself, for your sanity and for your peace.
Your partner is supposed to be someone who adds value to you. Adds your happiness and peace. Not someone who brings you pain and tears and worry. If he uses a tone with you that you find offensive, you call his attention to it and correct that tone immediately. You let them know you are displeased with that tone. You let them know you don’t appreciate being talked to in that manner. If they behave in a manner that you are not comfortable with, you call their attention to it immediately and correct it. Never accept or take anything from anyone that will only cause pain and worry and sleepless nights.
Life is already hard, why add to that hardship by being with someone that will only cause pain? You should live life to the fullest. Respect yourself so that no one else will ever make the mistake of disrespecting you. Know what you want. Know the kind of life you want for yourself. Know the kind of partner you want for yourself. Know the kind of relationship you want to be in. And nake sure who ever you get into any relationship with ticks all the boxes of what you want.
As much as the talking stage is for you to know what you want and never take anything less, it is also a stage for you to know what the other person wants. Listen to them, hear them. Think about the things they have talked about, ask yourself if you can be for them what they expect you to be. Make sure you are capable and willing to be for them the kind of partner that want for themselves. Because it will be sad and very disgusting that you will go into a relationship with someone that you are the exact opposite of what and who they want. You will only end up hurting them and by extension hurting yourself too. And at the end of the day, you would have wasted both you time, energy and whatever sacrifices and effort you both must have made.
I always take the ‘talking stage’ serious. I never take it for granted. If he speaks funny, acts funny, moves mad, I am blocking him immediately. I have worked too hard for too long on myself to settle for less than I deserve and desire, to let some man come and cause chaos and ruin to all my hard work. I know what I want, and I can boldly say settling for less than what I want is not and can never be possibility for me. I have my personal beliefs on so many things about life, family, religion, love, marriages and relationships, if I ask them and I don’t like their answers or their answers don’t allign with mt beliefs, then I can’t continue with them and will not eveb consider the possibilty of starting an actual relationship with them. No, you can’t ever play with me with it comes with my sanity, my happiness and my emotions, I don’t ever joke with me, so why would I let anyone joke with me?
So, if you have over looked, underated, and misused ‘the talking stage’, it’s time to change for the better and start being serious with it. Know your worth as a man, as a woman and stand by it.
That’s it for now on this particularly interesting topic. Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. I really do hope this article helps some out there and I hope to spend more time with you on the next post. Thanks for reading!
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