A Moment With Jennie

As A Woman, Is It Okay To Ask Him Out?

As a woman, should I ask him out?

Hello!
Welcome to another article on A Moment With Jennie. I want to believe my articles have brought some measure of help to you in some way and I hope I will continue to do so with my words, my ideas and my personal experiences. This topic is another beautiful one that will be specially written for my very shy ladies reading this. Enjoy!

So… As a lady, is it okay to ask him out?

YES PLEASE.

IF YOU LIKE HIM AND YOU WANT HIM, GO RIGHT AHEAD AND ASK HIM OUT!

Listen, this is 2023. This is a time people, especially women are being bold enough to go out and get for themselves everything they want. Jobs, careers, even love interests! When you see something that you want for yourself, you go right ahead and get it. Put in your best effort and try, if it does not work out, then it was not yours to begin with and if it works, go out and celebrate your win. But you will never know until you try. Plus, it’s really pointless living with regrets. If you don’t give it a try, you will only wish you had tried it when you had the chance. You will regret it a few months or a few years down the road. Same thing goes for when you are interested in a man. You come across his profile on social media, he catches your attention, you like his photos or his posts, take it a step further and send him a DM. If men can do it, why can’t you? You are human too and you have needs too. You have desires and cravings too. So go ahead and have at it.

There are women in my life who have come across men they really liked but were to shy or cowardly to tell them that they like them. And let me tell you, they are regretting not taking that bold step when they had the chance to. He was right there, so close to you, looking at you, admiring you just as much as you are admiring him, giving you all the signals you need to make a bold move on him. But because you are scared of being rejected or scared of being called names like; easy, cheap etc, you let him and what could have been a great relationship slip through your fingers and spend days, weeks, months and even years regretting your lack of confidence.

Pay attention to this: There are a lot of men who very much want a woman to walk up to them and ask them them. They want to you slide into their DMs and ask them out. They want you to have the confidence to take and ask for what you want. The want you to like them enough, to want them enough to ask them out. A lot of men crave the thrill that brings to them.

And most times, a man may actually really like a woman but because he feels ‘she is out of his league or class’ he would rather stay away then be insulted or embarrassed. Meanwhile, she is also admiring him and waiting for him to come make a move on her. How crazy is that? Two people like each other, one is scared of being rejected and embarrassed while the other is waiting and waiting for him to make a move on her. And as a result they both end up losing out on each other. If more women would have the confidence to walk up to men and tell them they like them and they want them, there will be less single women in the world today. And just quickly, who came up with the idea of one person being in a higher class than another person? How are these standards set? Who sets them? Who created these classes? Another topic for another time.

FEAR:
Fear is the main driving force behind people not going after what they want. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of the unknown. Let me tell you something: If something is not meant for you then, it isn’t meant to be yours. The worse that could ever happen is for you to be hurt or sad only but for a short period of time and You are back up again with more ideas and opportunities to go after. But if you don’t take that leap of faith, hoping for the best outcome, you will never know if it is meant for you ot not. Actors and actresses are a perfect example of people going after what they want despite their fear of the unknown. They audition for roles time and time again, they get rejected more times than they get accepted. It does not stop them from going to the next audition, it never stops them from believing that this next role is for them. It does not matter how many times they get rejected, they wake up every morning and they practice on the next role, the next audition. That’s the spirit we ought to emulate as adults who wish to be happy in life, in relationships. Let that fear drive you forward. Do not let the fear hold you back. Failure? Rejection? Honey, those are the absolute worse outcomes because you are not going to die. Instead you will learn and grow from it. If you like him or like something in particular about him, walk up to him, slide into his DM and tell him, use the best words you can come up with to let him know you want him to be yours. The worse that could happen is for him to say ‘NO’. And you move on with your life. If he does not accept you, then he isn’t meant to be yours. But again, until you try, you will never know for sure what the outcome will be.

LACK OF CONFIDENCE:
Some people, a lot of people sadly lack the courage, the confidence to go after what they want or this case, who they want. It isn’t out of fear, rather it is as a result of very little or no confidence at all. And that is why I previously wrote that article on self love and self worth. When you work on loving you right, when you work on knowing you best, when you work on every area and part of your life, you will know your self worth, your self esteem will be very high. And when that happens, you will develop the courage, the confidence, the boldness to go out and take for yourself all that you want, all that you deserve and desire. No one, nothing can and will ever hold you back. Not fear, not lack of courage or lack of confidence, you would not even know how to be shy even if you tried to. You will have the confidence in yourself, in your beauty to walk up to any man you want and tell him that you want him. Just make sure you don’t go about wanting married men with kids at home.

Sometimes though, the lady may be reluctant to ask him out because they are ,’best friends’ and she would not want to ruin their friendship if he rejects her or if they date and end up not working out. There are way too many cases like this out there. A lot of people are stuck in the ‘friend zone’ ‘best friend zone’ with people they actually love and would like to date. But again, you will never know your fate until you ask or go for what you want. You will never know the outcome until you ask him or open up to him and tell him that you love him beyond the friend zone. And who knows, he may end up feeling same way as you and having same fears as you. But if you keep your mouth shut, you both may end up losing out on each other and what could have been the best romantic relationship of your lives. So, get over that fear, throw out the doubts, grab on to your confidence, put on your big girl panties and go ask him out.

I have always been fortunate enough to go after what I want. And I have also had to fail at a lot of things but I have no regrets whatsoever. I set my sights and minds on a particular goal and I go for it, I either get it or I don’t but I never let fear or doubts hold me back. I don’t like living with regrets so I avoid anything that will cause me regrets. I have been with amazing men that I was bold enough to walk up to and tell them I wanted them, I have slid into a man’s DM and let him know of my interest in him and we had a great relationship afterwards. I am currently in a relationship with a man I adore so much, and I was bold enough to tell him that I wanted more with him and it turns out he wanted same and we have both never been happier.

Stop letting doubts or fear hold you back. Know yourself, know who you are and what you want and always have the courage to get it, no matter what it is, or who he is.

So…. Yes girl, as a woman, if you like him and you want him, go right ahead and ask him out. You are a catch, and he would be more than lucky and blessed to have you as his woman!

That is for now. Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. I hope this topic will help you get rid of your doubts and fears and be bold enough, have the courage to go get that man. Let’s spend more intimate time with each other in our next post. Thanks for reading!

Sex On The First Date;Yes Or No?

Sex on the first date, yes or no?

Hello!
Welcome to another article on A Moment With Jennie! This topic is a very special topic to me really. I’ve had countless arguments and conversations with people on this particular topic and really though, what’s the point of arguing? Everyone has their own beliefs and way of life and as I always say, YOU DO YOU! As usual I’ll be sharing my thoughts and opinions on this topic and the reasons behind my beliefs and hope that my words will be of help to somebody, anybody reading them.

Do you believe in having sex on the first date?
Should you open up the cookie jar on the first date?
Is it a smart move to have sex on the first date?

My answer to these questions is one and the same; Do you! Whatever works for you is what you should do, always.
Why?

Listen: Every body has got their own personal beliefs and way of life. We all have things that work for us but the fact that it works for you does not mean it will work for the next person. Why impose your beliefs and methods or style or way of living on other people?

I don’t impose my ideas on people. I’ll never tell you, this is what you should do. What I will tell you is this: In whatever you do, in whatever decision or action you take, make sure you don’t end up regretting it.

Let’s be realistic; Is it a crime to have sex on the first date? Who is the judge on that? And why do we feel, think or believe that it is in fact a bad or terrible idea to have sex on the first date? I don’t see anything wrong with doing what you want.

Let’s make one thing clear:
Going on a first date is to know if this person is compatible with me or not. Do we have a vibe? Is there any chemistry? Do I find him/her funny? Do I find him/her attractive? Is he smart or is she smart? Do I like how they look to me and how they look at me? Am I comfortable being with him/her? These are relatively the reason we make the decision to go on that first date with anybody. Sometimes we have been communicating with this person on the phone for days, weeks, months and sometimes years and then the chance to actually meet in person comes and we decided to go and hang out with the person. If he/she ticks all the boxes, then why should you not have sex if it is what you are comfortable with?

It is not okay for a woman to have sex with the guy on the first date. Says who?

I don’t want to come off as cheap and easy, that’s why I can’t have sex on the first date. Honey, be real to yourself. However you see yourself and present yourself is how everyone else will see you, treat you and address you.

What if all he wants from me sex? Then after we have sex on the first date, he will leave me. Good radiance! Isn’t it better he leaves you now than for him to leave you six months, one year down the road? Is it not better he leaves you now that you are yet to invest time and effort on him than for him to leave you after months and years of time and effort wasted? Because believe me if sex is all he wants from you, whether you give it to him on the first date or on the 100th date, he is still going leave you after the sex. The only difference will be the wasted time on your part. Because while he was busy wooing you, giving you the attention and making your heart flutter in excitement(which you will mistake for love) he is busy doing same thing with a list of other women. So, in the end, he will waste your time and he will leave you, after the sex on the 100th date.

So, really what is the reason you are against having sex on the first date?

The only reason that is valid for ‘no sex’ on the first date or any relationship is if you have the belief of ‘no sex before marriage’. Then the first date sex conversation does not involve you at all. You should not even be talking about having sex at all until you are married. That is a whole different case altogether.

So, should you have sex on the first date?
Again, if you feel the need to, go ahead an do it. Holding out won’t stop the relationship from crashing, it won’t stop him from leaving you, it won’t stop him from hurting you or disrespecting you if that’s who he is.

I said it before, however you see yourself and present yourself is how everyone else will see you and address you or treat you.

If you go on a date for the first with him/her. They look better than they do in their pictures. They sound better than they do over the phone. They smell good. They clean up well. She laughs at all your jokes, he looks at you like you are the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. They have commendable table manners. They possess admirable manners in general. The chemistry is on the very high side. You both end up enjoying each other’s company and you feel the need to end the date and the night with each other, then go right ahead. Just make sure it isn’t something you will end up regretting in the morning. Make sure the alcohol you consumed at dinner isn’t the one doing the thinking for you (well, some people will say you can always blame it on the alcohol if it turns out bad, but no please. Don’t let alcohol control your senses, ever.). Make sure you over sensitive, responsive libido isn’t the one doing the thinking for you either. You must make the decision to have sex or be intimate with anybody with a clear mind or clear head.

And most importantly, make sure no body is forcing to do anything. If during dinner he/she keeps hinting on have sex later that night and it does not make you comfortable, then do not ever go home with them. Kindly thank them for their company and for dinner and excuse yourself. Get out of there as fast as you can.

Listen, don’t let anyone lie to you or tell you that having sex on the first is wrong. Don’t listen to them. They probably have terrible experiences of having sex on the first date, it does not mean same fate awaits you. Always know what you want and always know how to go about getting what you want.

The reason I am not against having sex on the first date is that I have no right to tell anyone what to do. I have no right to judge anybody. But mostly because, most first dates do not happen by chance. Most times, these people have been communicating for months, sometimes years. They have gotten comfortable talking to each other daily. They know almost everything about each other, they have shared too much with each other. They have come to really know and understand each other. Now tell me why you wanna judge her and call her easy for having sex with someone she has known for months or years?

I have watched and listened to a lot ‘relationship experts’ condemn women for having sex with a man on the first date. I have also heard these same experts tell women ‘don’t ever have sex on the first date’. Talks like this irritate me. They say they speak out of experience. Well, let me say this: the fact that you had sex with him on the first date is NOT the reason he left you. If he called you cheap, then that is on him and not you, he has serious issues that he needs help with, he is at fault not you, what he needs a therapist and not a gurlfriend. Or may he called you cheap because of a certain behaviour you show, then that’s on you. Don’t go about blaming the sex on the first date.

But… If you go on a date and you are just not comfortable with him or you feel you just don’t feel good going home with him, then don’t go home with him. Like I said earlier, ‘Do You Always’. And make sure you have zero regrets. Never do something, anything you will end up regretting.

In summary: Having sex on a first date is not a crime. Only do it if you are comfortable with the person, only if you are okay doing it. Let it be your choice, your decision. Don’t do it Because someone somewhere told you it is a good idea and don’t refuse to do it Because someone somewhere told you it is a bad idea or that it will make you look easy or cheap. Just do whatever makes you happy and never have regrets!

That’s it for now. Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. I hope this article will help somebody make the right decision base on this particular topic. Let’s spend more time together in the next article. Thanks for reading!

The Talking Stage In Any/Every Relationship

The talking stage in any/every relationship:

Hello!
Welcome back to yet another exciting article on A Moment With Jennie. Today’s topic as usual is another important thing that is very much underated. I will be sharing my ideas and thoughts as well as personal experiences as is our usual here and hope that somehow, somewhere, my words will help many people correct a lot of things they have been doing wrong and begin to work on doing and being better for themselves and for the people around them.

Personally, I believe the talking stage is the most important part of any and every relationship. And unfortunately for a lot people, this stage is often times over looked, misused. And as a result, lots of people end up suffering lots of emotional and mental and to an extent physical abuse in their relationships.

First off, do you know what the talking stage of a relationship is? Do you know how it works? Do you even understand how important it is? Do you think it is even worth it? Do you consider it to be of any use or importance?

Let us answer these questions before going into the topic proper;

What is ‘the talking stage’ of a relationship?
This is usually the beginning, the starting point of every relationship. You meet someone or someone is being introduced to you, you start talking(phone calls, texts, chats, a few dates here and there). It is the stage where you get to know each other. This is where you decide if this person is someone you want to have in your life or not. Depending on the outcome of this ‘talking stage’ you either start a new relationship or you both go your separate ways, never to see each other again.
Do you know how it works?
This is a valid question really. Because a lot of people do not understand the importance of the talking stage, they tend not to know what to do at this stage. How does it work? This is when you need to know what you are looking for in a partner. Once you know what kind of relationship you want, you know the kind of questions to ask. You know what signs to look out for, you know how to test this person or sound them out to get result or answers you desire. You know how and when to go forward or take a walk. You learn about the other person as much as you would like them yo learn about. You think first before you respond to questions. You become vocal with what you want and like and also pay attention to what they want and like. You check and confirm if you and this person are compatible or not. This is the opportunity to get to know the person before commiting into a relationship with them.
Do you understand how important it is?
Again, a valid question. Why? Because this talking stage helps know yourself and know the person you are about to get into a relationship with. This talking stage is the deciding factor of your relationship(if you will be having one with this person or not). This talking stage is what will help know what you can tolerate and what you can not going forward. This stage will set the tone of what kind of relationship you will be going into.
Do you think it is worth it? Do you consider it to be of any use or importance?
My dear readers, it is worth it. Ot is of great importance. There are People stuck in relationships and marriages that they wish they can get out of but do not know how to. The talking stage should not be taking lightly. It should be consider an important part of your relationship if not the most important part of your relationship. If you put in as much effort as you plan on putting in your relationship into the talking stage, you will save yourself a lot of stress down the road. It help you miss out on what would have been a disaster in disguise of a relationship. The talking stage is worth every effort, every energy, every sincerity, every truth and confidence you put into it. Because on the long run, you will be happy you did it.

I always tell People to spend time during the talking stage. Don’t be in a hurry. Don’t be in a haste to start something that you may end up regretting. Take your time, sort out your thoughts and emotions, get to know the person you are talking to. Get to understand them. Make them understand you. Be patient in listening as you would also love to be heard. Read every sign you get. Read meaning into every word and action, every tone used. Ask all the questions. Get to know him or her. I can’t emphasize enough on this. Get to know the person you are about to commit to. Don’t rush into a relationship or marriage only to rush out of it with regrets and tears and complaints.

A lot of people are in abusive relationships today because they ignored the signs. Some of them saw the signs but failed to acknowledge it Because they felt they loved the person too much to let them go. My dear, love is not painful. Love should never and can never be painful. Love does not hurt. Rather it heals, it nurtures, it cares, it saves. The point I am trying to make here is this; they saw the signs during the talking stage but ignored it. They heard the tone this person talked to them with, they ignored it. They saw the looks this person gave them, they ignored it. They heard the harsh words this person was using on from the beginning and they chose to ignore it.

During the talkin stage, whatever you accept at this point is what you will continue to accept in your relationship. Whatever you grant them permission to do is what they will continue to do. Whatever tone and behaviour they start the relationship with, is what they will continue with. It is left to you to decide if that is what you want for yourself, for your sanity and for your peace.

Your partner is supposed to be someone who adds value to you. Adds your happiness and peace. Not someone who brings you pain and tears and worry. If he uses a tone with you that you find offensive, you call his attention to it and correct that tone immediately. You let them know you are displeased with that tone. You let them know you don’t appreciate being talked to in that manner. If they behave in a manner that you are not comfortable with, you call their attention to it immediately and correct it. Never accept or take anything from anyone that will only cause pain and worry and sleepless nights.

Life is already hard, why add to that hardship by being with someone that will only cause pain? You should live life to the fullest. Respect yourself so that no one else will ever make the mistake of disrespecting you. Know what you want. Know the kind of life you want for yourself. Know the kind of partner you want for yourself. Know the kind of relationship you want to be in. And nake sure who ever you get into any relationship with ticks all the boxes of what you want.

As much as the talking stage is for you to know what you want and never take anything less, it is also a stage for you to know what the other person wants. Listen to them, hear them. Think about the things they have talked about, ask yourself if you can be for them what they expect you to be. Make sure you are capable and willing to be for them the kind of partner that want for themselves. Because it will be sad and very disgusting that you will go into a relationship with someone that you are the exact opposite of what and who they want. You will only end up hurting them and by extension hurting yourself too. And at the end of the day, you would have wasted both you time, energy and whatever sacrifices and effort you both must have made.

I always take the ‘talking stage’ serious. I never take it for granted. If he speaks funny, acts funny, moves mad, I am blocking him immediately. I have worked too hard for too long on myself to settle for less than I deserve and desire, to let some man come and cause chaos and ruin to all my hard work. I know what I want, and I can boldly say settling for less than what I want is not and can never be possibility for me. I have my personal beliefs on so many things about life, family, religion, love, marriages and relationships, if I ask them and I don’t like their answers or their answers don’t allign with mt beliefs, then I can’t continue with them and will not eveb consider the possibilty of starting an actual relationship with them. No, you can’t ever play with me with it comes with my sanity, my happiness and my emotions, I don’t ever joke with me, so why would I let anyone joke with me?

So, if you have over looked, underated, and misused ‘the talking stage’, it’s time to change for the better and start being serious with it. Know your worth as a man, as a woman and stand by it.

That’s it for now on this particularly interesting topic. Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. I really do hope this article helps some out there and I hope to spend more time with you on the next post. Thanks for reading!

Dating Apps; Yay or Nay?

Dating Apps: Yay or Nay?

Hello!
Welcome to yet another beautiful article on A Moment With Jennie. Today’s topic is going to be a little different because it is actually different. And as usual, I’ll be sharing my personal experiences and hope to help as many people as I possibly can with my words.

PSA: My words here, in this particular article will mostly be for people who are new to dating app/sites and people who are considering looking for love on there. It’s more of an exposure. Those who are already serial dating app users, my words will definitely come off as things you already are aware of, so my sincere apologies in advance.

So…. Dating Apps huh?
For me, I would just summarize Dating Apps/Sites as WILD! Because I have had my own fair share of experiences on dating Apps/Sites and I just have to say this: A lot of people, over 80% of the people on dating Apps/Sites are there for sexual encounters with strangers. And that is really something I can’t seem to understand. The Apps/Site are called ‘Dating Apps’ ‘Dating Sites’, so why would anybody think it is a good idea to come on there and preposition people. It is both insulting and degrading in every way, not to mention embarrassing and disrespectful too! If you are in need of a place to go to look for sexual partners, there are lots of sex sites to go to. And it will be a whole lot easier for you because then you would not need to explain yourself to whomever you are chatting with, they already know where they are and what to expect. But when you come on a dating app and start to preposition people, especially people who believe they could find genuine friendships and love on there, you confuse them and come off as degrading and insulting. I’ve been there and I have felt all of that.

A few years ago, specifically in 2020, during the lockdown, I tried dating apps for the very first time, after many persuasion from friends and let me tell you this: I WAS STUNNED AT THE AMOUNT OF HORNY MEN ON THERE! And how incredibly fast it is for them to let you know they are after sex first and sex only. I had to go back to my profile, check and double check if by mistake I had written it some where that I was on the app to meet people for sex. I also had to check the photos I posted to confirm that I had not posted any provocative photos that would welcome such advances and behaviour. I was just shocked. And it was very alarming too. I complained to my friends and they said it was a world wide lockdown, people are in their homes, horny with no one to call over. I decided to excuse their rude vulgar behaviour with the whole lock down fiasco. Now, tell me why I was still getting same kinds of messages from men on dating apps years later, as recent as 2022! Did I mention that dating apps are WILD? Yeah, wild is just the right word to describe what goes on there.

Besides being prepositioned on there, there are a few other things that irritated me while I was still very much using dating apps. Like the many fake accounts fraudsters use on naive People (both young and old, it really does not matter to them). It shames me to admit that I almost fell victim to one of them in 2020. Thanks to my family and friends who were quick to spot the sketchy individual for who he was, I was ‘delivered’ from the hands of internet fraudstars. And let me say this here to people considering looking for love on dating apps, these dating apps are the perfect place for internet fraudstars to get people. That is their hunting ground and sadly, a lot people fall victims to this regularly. And because they can guess how desperate people are for companionship, for true love, they know just the right thing to say, the right thing to do to get what they want from these unsuspecting victims.

More? Yes!
There are MAD PEOPLE on dating apps. I am not trying to be funny. I am being serious. There are really crazy people on the internet and dating apps are not exempted. These are the people who enter your DM after going through your profile to ask you stupid questions like ‘what are you doing on a dating app’? Hello? Isn’t it obvious? They ask questions like ‘ When can I come and meet your parents, so we can get married’. Uhm.. Do you have family members? Why would that be the first thing you say to someone, a total stranger on a freaking dating app? People that ask questions like ‘can I get your digit? I don’t like it here much’. You don’t like it here much? Why are you here then? People that immediately want to know your birth history and your background history and that of your parents and grandparents barely 2 seconds after saying ‘hi’ to you on a dating app. And then there are the people that write boldly and clearly on their profile/bio ‘ I’m not here for hookup, I am here to meet genuine like minded people who are looking for serious relationships just like me’ and then proceed to preposition you the moment you reply to their messages! There are the people who write ‘Those that use ‘Am’ to start a sentence should stay away from this user, those that can not write well, please stay away from this user’ and then they proceed to send you a message, saying ‘Am so happy to meet you’. What is that?!! Like I said, MAD PEOPLE Everywhere on dating apps!

A few advice for women and men(old and young) who plan on downloading dating apps, with the purpose of finding love on there:

Be careful. Be extremely careful of the kind of information you put out there. Putting your personal information on any social media platform is risky, but on dating apps? That’s like waving a red flag in front of a raging bull. Be mindful of the things you say to strangers online. Only give out details you know will not harm you in any way if anybody tries to use them against you. Again, DO NOT GIVE OUT PERSONAL DETAILS ON DATING APPS!
Ignore any and all messages that smells like, feels like, looks like a preposition. Do not even respond, block the person immediately! If you know that you are not there to be viewed as a sex object, to be disrespected, degraded and insulted like that, report and block any user that tries to preposition you in any way.
Beware of internet fraudstars. Anyone you notice that’s being overly nice and sweet, that has the perfect word or response to everything, that always want to talk to you about money, RUN AWAY FROM THEM! We all watched Tinder Swindler right? We all saw what happened. There are worse people on dating apps. So be very careful out there if you choose to go on dating apps for anything at all. And if you are yet to see tinder swindler, go see it now! It’s still on netflix. Watch it and learn from the mistakes many women make all in the name of loving someone.
Protect yourself always. Be emotionally and mentally strong. That’s the only way to survive in this world, it is also the only way to survive on the internet and on dating apps/sites. Build your confidence so that when these individuals come on to you and try to play a smart one on your emotions or intelligence, you will be prepared and send them packing immediately!
Though there are People who claim to have found love on dating apps, I would never advise anyone to go to any dating app in search of love. It never ends well. It mostly always ends in tears and heartbreak. Don’t you think it is best you meet people the traditional way? That way you get to see the person, touch them, hear them speak and decide for yourself if they are real or genuine enough for you to start anything with. Instead of ‘meeting someone’ on these dating apps, where you can’t even be certain they are who they say they are. Be smart, be careful, be strong out there.

Back to the to the topic: Dating Apps:Yay or Nay?
To me, it is a big fat NO. I would never recommend dating apps to anybody. It really isn’t worth the hassle. It isn’t worth any mental and emotional stress you are bound to encounter if you decide to trust people you meet on dating apps or even the process.

Again, there are People who vow they have had good and amazing experiences on dating apps, some would even tell you they found love there. But also note that in most cases that would be the minority, like 1 out of 100. I would rather advice you meet people the old fashion way and make the decision for yourself.

But if you still feel the need to use dating apps, kindly note the many issues on there that I mentioned earlier and be smarter.

That is it on this topic. Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. I hope my personal experiences and wise words will be of help to you and to as many people you choose to share this with. Let’s spend more time together in our next post. Thanks for reading!

The Power Of Prayer.

THE POWER OF PRAYER!

Hello!

Welcome back to yet another beautiful article. Today we will be discussing on a topic that we don’t get to talk about much. And that’s Because a lot of people don’t believe in it at all, while others are in doubt, others feel they have been wronged by the Almighty and some feel they are too busy to pray and most are just too lazy to pray. As usual, I’ll be sharing my thoughts and personal experiences and hope that the words I write out will help as many people as possible to believe more, have faith abd trust in the Almighty and in the power of prayer.

The power of prayer!

My dears, I really want to believe that we all know how important prayer is and how very significant it is to have an active prayer life. And how effective the power of prayer is.

Daily, we are faced with countless temptations and challenges. Some days we want to give up. Some days all we can do is sigh and carry on. Other days we break down and cry and lament and curse out. But most of the time what we don’t know we need is prayer! We don’t know this or maybe we do know this but we are probably too lazy to pray and as a result we end up living a lukewarm life. An ordinary life with no spirituality. It does not matter if you are a christian or a muslim, what matters is that you pray and believe and have faith that there is a high power capable of granting all our wishes.

One bitter truth is that we don’t pray enough. We don’t pray as often as we should. We find it hard to pray. We are too lazy to pray. Which is basically what I want to talk about today.

Why are you lazy to pray? Why? Why should you be lazy to pray?

Spending 10-20mins of your time praying to the Almighty should not be a chore, it should not be hard at all. Planning out 10mins of time daily to pray should be a part of our life. Praying should be a lifestyle. Praying should be our lifestyle! Appreciating the Almighty for his blessings and his grace in our lives should be a must! Asking the Almighty for forgiveness daily should be a must because we sin daily. Asking and begging him for his grace and blessing should be a must because you can’t do it on your own. It isn’t by your power neither is it by your might that you have managed to make it this far, it is only by his mercy and his grace alone!

There are People out in the world who feel they are too angry at God to pray. They prayed for something, and when things don’t turn like they had expected, the believe God didn’t grant them, so they are angry and they don’t want to pray any more.

Dear reader, you need to know, understand and accept that if it isn’t meant to be, it won’t be. If you pray for something over and over again, and at the end of the day it didn’t turn out like you hope it would, then that thing was not meant to be. It will hurt, yes. But only for a little while. One thing you need to look forward to is what is to come. Because what is to come is greater than what we could ever hope for or expect.

There are People who don’t believe in the power of prayer. I am sad for these people. How can you not believe that the Almighty has the power to bless you beyond your imagination? How can you not believe that He is able to do all things! How can you not believe that He is God! How can you not believe in the power of prayer? The fact that you were conceived, and brought into the world safely is by His grace and power. The fact that you went through life from when your a childhood up until this point is by His Power! So how can you not believe in His power still? He brought you out of danger, He delivered you from situations that could have ended badly for you. He saved you time and time again. He provided for you, has been providing for you! You wake up daily sound and happy by His power only! He loves you despite the many times you hurt Him by not acknowledging Him and His existence! Above all else, HE MADE YOU IN HIS OWN IMAGE!

A lot of people under estimate the power of prayer. Why? When you find yourself in a dangerous situation and you scream ‘Jesus!’ Or ‘Blood of Jesus’ and then you are saved, what do you think that was? What did you think happened? Magic? When you screamed ‘Jesus’ that’s a silent prayer for help and He came to your rescue. Now if you can only utter His name and he comes to your help so fast, how much more when you actually go down on your knees and pray. Pray to Him, ask Him for His mercy and grace and blessings and Love and watch out for how better your life will be.

So many years ago, I was angry at God. (Yes! I used to be one of those people who were angry and mad at God for not granting a particular wish). I was hurt, angry and sad, depressed and suicidal. I didn’t pray, I didn’t even have the urge to pray. I didn’t see nor feel the need to pray. I would say to myself ‘He never pays attention’ ‘He never answers’ ‘He never listens’. And so I wake up every day, go to bed every night without praying. One glorious morning, I woke up with the urge yo pray. See, I’m catholic and to every catholic the Holy Rosary is the best form of prayer as it is also our weapon against the devil. And so that morning, I picked up my Rosary which I had not held in a very long time. Now, listen, I was expecting it to feel weird in my palms but No, the Rosary was as comfortable as ever like I had been praying it every day, like it was at home in my palms. I prayed that morning, prayed at night before going to bed. Woke the next morning and the first thing I did was to pray. And it went on and on. And let me tell you this, I can’t go a day without praying. If I manage not yo pray in a day, I would feel naked and incomplete until I pick up my Rosary and pray. Prayer has become a big and an important part of me. And that’s Because I know the importance of prayer. I have seen the effect of the power of prayer. I’ve been in situations that even I didn’t think I could make it out of alive but His grace brought me out safe and sound! When things don’t work out the way I plan, I shake myself and tell myself ‘He knows what He is doing’. Because He does! If what I pray does not come to me then that thing was not mine to begin with. What is mine will come to me. Because I Know Him. I have seen Him in action. I believe and trust Him completely! He has never failed me. And He will NEVER fail me. So why won’t I believe in Him?

I want to encourage everyone reading this article right now, Prayer works. Never be too big or too lazy or too busy to pray for what you want. He is always ready and prepared to listen and accept your prayers. Make Praying a huge part of your day and life. 10mins is too small for Him but try to take out 10 mins out of the 24hrs in a day to pray to Him. Thank Him for what He has done, and then ask him for what you want Him to do. Build and create a great relationship with Him. He never fails. He never disappoints. He will never hurt you. And He will never leave you. Because He is not man that fails and disappoints!

And learn to trust Him and Trust in His process. Do not be in a hurry. Having Faith comes with being patient. When you pray and ask for something, Have faith and believe that He heard you alright and He is already working on granting you your wish. Don’t rush Him. Trust His timing because God’s time is the best! He is also the best part of us because HE MADE US IN HIS IMAGE! He sees us. He knows us best and He also knows what we need and what we want. He Knows how to attend to us in due time.

Please work on your praying life. Believe in the power of prayer. Trust the process. And believe that all things happen at the appropriate time.

That will be all for now dear readers. Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. I hope this particular article helps you build a personal relationship with God, trust in Him and trust in His process and His timing. Believe and have faith that He never fails and He will never fail you. Let’s meet up again for more intimate topics in the next article. Thanks for reading!

Why Depend On Other People For Your Own Happiness?

WHY DEPEND ON OTHER PEOPLE FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS?

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” —Mahatma Gandhi

Happiness is a sense of well-being, joy, or contentment.

I would like to believe this is a continuation of the previous post on ‘Happiness as a part of self love’. Because here I am also going to talk on finding your own happiness, without feeling like certain people or relationships are the reason you are not happy.

There are millions of people, adults who are living believing that someone is ‘their happy place’. They are living life thinking and believing that someone is the ‘reason for their happiness’. Hmmm.

My dears, if you are one of these people then you need to know that you are wrong. You are so wrong! No body is the reason for your happiness. Nobody should be the reason for your happiness. Nobody should be your happiness. If and when you begin to attribute your happiness to people, you begin to give power over you, over your happiness, over your emotions, over your mental well being to them. And when they hurt or disappoint you, your sanity begins to suffer. When you link your happiness to anybody, then you are letting the person have total control over you and your emotions and your thoughts. And once anybody has control over your emotions and your thoughts, that person automatically has control over your life. Why give anybody control over your life? If the person dies, what happens? If the person hurts you, what happens then? If the person disappoints you, what happens to you? If the person wakes up one day decides they no longer want to be a part of your life, which means they can no longer be your happy place nor the reason for your happiness, what do you think will happen to you? Again, I ask, why give anybody control over your life?

Why depend on people for your own happiness?

People will fail you.

People will hurt you.

People will definitely disappoint you.

People will leave you, eventually.

If you know this, then why will you want to be dependent on them for something as important and as precious as your happiness?

In previous episodes, I wrote about self love, loving one’s self, self worth, self acceptance. Working and learning how to love yourself wholly, better than anyone ever could. Accepting yourself, faults, flaws and all, letting go of everything and everyone that does not add any value to your life. Love yourself intentionally, Love yourself selfishly, Love yourself possessively, love yourself in such way that no one could ever understand, no one but you. Find your purpose. Find and discover what you love doing, your purpose will bring you happiness in its purest form. When you start to do things that make you happy, when you leave a job that takes all of your time but adds zero value to your life and you begin to do what really brings you satisfaction, joy, fulfilment, a sense of accomplishment, then you will also discover your happiness. You will know your self worth when you learn to appreciate, accept and love everything about you and what you do. When you know your self worth, what others think of you would not bother you any more. Because only you can know you best and only you can love you best. Only you can make you happy. Only you can bring you the happiness that you crave. Only you can bring you the happiness that you deserve. Only you can and should be your happy place. Only you can and should be the reason for your happiness. Only you should be the reason behind your smiles, the reason behind your joy, the reason behind your glow and the reason behind your happiness. When you are your own happy place, when you are the reason for your happiness, YOU GLOW DIFFERENTLY.

Now pay attention to my next words carefully;

It’s okay to surround yourself with great and amazing people who add to your happiness and your purpose. Emphasis on ‘add’. These great and amazing people are ‘adding to’ your happiness. They are not the reason for your happiness. They are not your happiness. They only add to your value and by extension, they are adding to your happiness and purpose. Never mistake the role of people in your life. Everyone comes into your life to add not to be. They come to add to your joy, but you are already a happy soul because you are your own happiness. They only add to that happiness that you have discovered, the happiness you have worked hard to attain on your own, by yourself and for yourself.

Never over estimate the value of people in your life. Not your friends, not your love interests, not even your colleagues at work. They are in your life for only one purpose and that’s to add value to you, who you already are, who you have become.

Never believe that your happiness lies in a particular relationship. I say this because a lot of the time, young individuals who make it habit to think with their heart and not their heads, make the mistake of thinking and believing that finding a ‘perfect partner’ is the key to their happiness. Thoughts and beliefs like this will only harm you in the long run. That is because you will only go through several partners all in the name of finding happiness in the perfect man/woman. Like I said earlier, people will hurt you, they will disappoint you and they will leave you. Know this and then begin to think differently.

Instead of thinking or believing that your happiness lies in the perfect partner, you need to believe that your happiness lies within you. You are your own happiness. You are your own happy place.

Listen, when you see for yourself that you are the only one that can truly make you happy, then you will understand that these people we consider to be perfect partners can only add or subtract to or from this happiness that you already posses. And so when they do leave or disappoint you or even try to hurt you(yes I say try because that’s all they can do!) Their absence will barely be missed. Their absence will not and can not break you. Because you have gotten stronger and better. and that’s Because you love you intentionally and you are your own happy place.

Years back, my relationships didn’t work out. None of them lasted beyond a particular period of time. And so I began to believe that I can’t have any meaningful relationship. I started to think, believe and accept that the reason these relationships did not work was because I was not happy in them. The reason those relationships did not work was because these men(who were amazing individuals by the way) could not make me happy. And then I set out to look for a man that would make me happy. I held on to this belief that ‘if I find a man that makes me happy, I’ll hold on to him and only then will I be happy myself’. And so for years, I started and ended lots of relationships with really great men because ‘they were not making me happy’. It never occured to me that the fault was not from them. The fault was from me! I had not taken the time to search myself, know myself, know my flaws and my faults and accept them, work on them, become a better person for myself first and then for those around me. I didn’t love myself enough, I had not accepted myself wholly, I didn’t know my self worth and as a result, I was not happy. And if I wasn’t happy with myself and within myself how then was anyone ever going to make me happy? How then will I be able to help or add value to another person’s life? I could not grow beyond that point, I was not happy with myself, I was not proud of myself, and in summary I was not actually living, I was only existing in time and place. I was stuck! And looking back now, I can only see how sad and pitiful I was and probably looked to other people. It took me so long to get to a point where I want to live for me. I want to be happy every day with myself and for myself. Before I was quick to hurt, quick to cry and quick to blame others. But now, I know that if I don’t do for myself the things that I crave, I’ll only have me to blame and no one else. And so I wake up every morning, motivated to love me more and to be happy, to not let anyone get in the way of my happiness and achievements. And so I can proudly and boldly say that I am a better person everyday. I am learning new things about myself and about life, I am putting in the work, and I have never been happier!

That will be all for now. Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie. Let’s continue with more inspiring topics in the next article where we can be motivated to be and do better for ourselves. Thanks for reading!

Happiness As A Part Of Self Love

HAPPINESS AS A PART OF SELF LOVE:

Hello! And welcome back!

Today’s topic as clearly stated above is Happiness. One word and yet so powerful, so meaningful, so significant and so very important. I have to say this because it’s a fact, not everyone is happy. A lot of individuals out there have never known what happiness is or what it means to be happy. A lot of people are going through life, not really living because they are not happy. They don’t know how to be happy. They can’t fathom what the word is or what the emotion feels like. And sadly, I used to be one of these people. I was not happy. I was not happy with life, I was not happy with myself, I was not happy with anything or anybody. I was just living each day as it came, one day at a time, going through the motions, unfeeling. Hardly smiling or laughing. Just existing and not really living. It got to a point, I would cry myself to sleep every night, cry in the shower, fell into very deep depression, was even suicidal and was just always angry all the time. It took a lot of work on myself to get to the point I am today. Today and everyday, I wake up with a purpose every morning,smiling and laughing, happy with myself, happy with my life. I speak only positive words to myself. ‘I am great’ ‘I am beautiful’ ‘I am perfect just as God made me’ ‘I am love’ ‘I attract good things’ ‘ Good things only happen to me’ ‘I am the best’. And then I confess my love for me as often as I can. ‘I Love you so much Jennie’. ‘You are the best thing to ever happen to me Jennie’ ‘You are the best part of me Jennie’ ‘You are God’s greatest creation Jennie’. These exercises of daily positive affirmations have helped me a great deal. I say them, I believe them and then I accept them. So, in this episode again, I’ll share a few knowledgeable words and ideas on this topic and hope that my words will spark something deep inside you as you read, motivate you to work on yourself and help you find your true happiness all on your own and maybe encourage someone, help them find their own happiness, help them find their purpose.

Happiness is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment:

This relates to how satisfied you feel with different areas of your life including your relationships, work, achievements, and other things that you consider to be important to you. One very important thing to remember is that happiness isn’t a state of constant euphoria. Instead, happiness is an overall sense of experiencing more positive emotions than negative ones.

SIGNS OF HAPPINESS:

1.Feeling like you are living the life you have always wanted.

2.Feeling that the conditions of your life are good, good to you, good for you.

3.Feeing that you have accomplished (or will accomplish) what you want in life.

4.Feeling satisfied with your life and with yourself.

5.Feeling positive more than negative towards life and yourself.

I’m going to deviate a little bit and go into the types/kinds of happiness that we have to further broaden our minds and knowledge on happiness:

Greek philosopher Aristotle made a distinction between two different kinds of happiness: Hedonia and Eudaimonia.

Hedonia: Hedonic happiness is derived from pleasure. It is most often associated with doing what feels good, self-care, fulfilling desires, experiencing enjoyment, and feeling a sense of satisfaction.

Eudaimonia: This type of happiness is derived from seeking virtue and meaning. Important components of eudaimonic well-being including feeling that your life has meaning, value, and purpose. It is associated more with fulfilling responsibilities, investing in long-term goals, concern for the welfare of other people, and living up to personal ideals.

Hedonia and eudemonia are more commonly known today in psychology as pleasure and meaning, respectively. More recently, psychologists have suggested the addition of the third component that relates to engagement. These are feelings of commitment and participation in different areas of life.

Some emotions/feelings that are associated with happiness are:

Joy: A often relatively brief feeling that is felt in the present moment.

Excitement: A happy feeling that involves looking forward to something with positive anticipation.

Gratitude: A positive emotion that involves being thankful and appreciative.

Pride: A feeling of satisfaction in something that you have accomplished.

Optimism: This is a way of looking at life with a positive, upbeat outlook.

Contentment: This type of happiness involves a sense of satisfaction.

Below are a few ideas I’ll like to share with y’all to help you begin to attain personal happiness:

Pursue Intrinsic Goals:

Achieving goals that you are intrinsically motivated to pursue, particularly ones that are focused on personal growth and community, can help boost happiness. Research suggests that pursuing these types of intrinsically-motivated goals can increase happiness more than pursuing extrinsic goals like gaining money or status.

Enjoy the Moment:

Studies have found that people tend to over earn—they become so focused on accumulating things that they lose track of actually enjoying what they are doing.

So, rather than falling into the trap of mindlessly accumulating to the detriment of your own happiness, focus on practicing gratitude for the things you have and enjoying the process as you go.

Reframe From Negative Thoughts:

When you find yourself stuck in a pessimistic outlook or experiencing negativity, look for ways that you can reframe your thoughts in a more positive way.

Now, Let’s discuss the positive effect of happiness on us when we begin to experience it at its best form:

Impact of Happiness;

Happiness has been shown to predict positive outcomes in many different areas of life.

Positive emotions increase satisfaction with life:

Happiness helps people build stronger coping skills and emotional resources.

Positive emotions are linked to better health and longevity. One study found that people who experienced more positive emotions than negative ones were more likely to have survived over a 13 year period.

Positive feelings increase resilience: Resilience helps people better manage stress and bounce back better when faced with setbacks. For example, one study found that happier people tend to have lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol and that these benefits tend to persist over time.

People who reportedly have a positive state of well-being are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors such as eating fruits and vegetables and engaging in regular physical exercise.

Being happy may help you get sick less often. Happier mental states are linked to increased immunity.

How to Be a Happier Person;

1.Get Regular Exercise

Even a little bit of exercise produces a happiness boost. People who were physically active for as little as 10 minutes a day or who worked out only once a week had higher levels of happiness than people who never exercised.

2.Find and do what makes you happy as often as you can.

3.Love yourself above all else.

3.Learn appreciate everyone and everything.

4.Think positively.

5.Believe in you and what you are capable of.

6.Show Gratitude.

7.Find a Sense of Purpose.

Challenges of Finding Happiness;

A.Valuing the Wrong Things

B.Believing that your happiness is linked to someone or believing that certain relationships or individuals are what will make you happy. You are WRONG. You are the only responsible for your happiness.

C.Thinking of Happiness as an Endpoint

Happiness isn’t a goal that you can simply reach and be done with. It is a constant pursuit that requires continual nurturing and sustenance.

That will be all for now on this topic, there is a high chance we will get back to it again soon. Thank you for spending a moment with Jennie! I hope my words have been of help to someone today. Let’s spend more intimate time together and share more thoughts and ideas with each other. Thanks for reading!

Self Love And Self Worth(Learn To Love You First Pt 2)

SELF LOVE AND SELF WORTH:(Learn To Love You First PT 2)

LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND EVERYTHING ELSE WILL FALL INTO LINE. YOU REALLY HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF TO GET ANYTHING DONE IN THIS WORLD….Lucille Ball.

Self love or ‘love of self’ or ‘regard for one’s own happiness or advantage’ is best explained as a basic human necessity. And some have expressed it to be a moral flaw akin to vanity and selfishness.

Self worth is an emotional state of being that comes from self understanding and self love and self acceptance. It is a state that is somewhat timeless and unchanging. It is a direct measure of how you value and regard yourself in spite of what others may say or do.

Hmmm!

This is going to be a fun article but I will try as best as I can to make you feel what I will be sharing and not just read the words.

You see, a lot of people if not everyone on earth, every being even the ones that have died has at one point or another felt some kinda doubt about themselves.

We’ve had to doubt our being, ourselves and our worth.

Some people would feel the need to celebrate an important moment in their lives or careers but something keeps holding them back. A nasty little voice somewhere in their heads or hearts is telling them that it isn’t right to celebrate when others aren’t. We have all been there, we have all had a moment or two of self doubt but what we didn’t know and to an extent still don’t know is that it is very very very much okay to celebrate when everyone isn’t and that is because we may not get the opportunity to do it again or any time soon. It is okay to celebrate every moment, every win like it is the last.

Some individuals have the habit of putting every one first before themselves. They never consider or entertain the thought of putting themselves before any other person.

Like that quote at the begining of this episode said, if you don’t love yourself as you should, you will have nothing to give out.

Take note of the words below and let them sink into your hearts, accept them and start to live them:

Loving yourself isn’t being selfish.

Loving yourself isn’t vain.

Loving yourself isn’t a flaw.

So, take some time out, give yourself some good loving because it is only when you truly love yourself that you’ll realize your self worth.

I used to be one of those people who put other people first.

I would put everyone else’s happiness first.

I would put their comfort first.

I would put their satisfaction first.

I would always make sure that they are ALWAYS happy and cared for before I would even consider the possibility of loving me, or thinking of my own happiness or satisfaction. Sometimes I even feel like it isn’t really worth it. I was wrong to think that. If you also have these thoughts, you are wrong too!

That was the way for me. ‘Make others happy and you will be happy’. That’s what I would always tell myself. But was I happy though? The answer to that will be a big fat NO.

I was not happy.

I was the least happy person alive at the time.

I didn’t even know how to be happy for myself or how to begin to find my own happy place. I didn’t know how to look for my happiness, or how to find that thing that made happy.

So, I started avoiding people.

I Literally avoided everyone except from my mom and sister and even then, I didn’t give them the amount of attention they had gotten used to getting from me but I always made them aware of my presence. But besides that, it was all about me, me and me.

I spent so much time alone, took some time off work, eventually had to quit my job. I just stopped doing a lot of things I used to do that I would consider FUN.

I stopped going out, I stopped taking calls, I stopped calling. I just stopped doing things I had become so comfortable doing and instead I started doing things I hadn’t been doing for a while, things I really enjoyed doing. Things that used to make me so happy.

I started reading again.

I started writing again. I spent hours pouring out all of my emotions on ink, wrote some very beautiful stories, turned them into great movie script, and I tell you, I discovered what true happiness really is. I started loving everything about myself. I mean EVERYTHING! It was an amazing feeling, I must tell you. And then I also started noticing things about myself I didn’t even know about before then.

Some of the things I started doing was planning trips.

I started shopping online.

I did a lot of shopping, I bought everything I loved. Foot wears, dresses, handbags, sun glasses, wigs… I got them all.

I started working out, now let me tell you that I do not like working out, I do not enjoy it at all but what I love about working is the result. I was loving how I felt after my workouts, I slept better, ate better, I felt better, I was light on my feet and I was loving every moment of it.

I started going out, I started meeting people, I made new friends and some how I was strong and bold enough let go of some of the people who weren’t really relevant to me or my happiness at all. Mind you, these were people I thought and believed I needed at one point in my life, People I felt appreciated me but really they didn’t.

Please note that, I didn’t particular discard them, but I put all of them in a box and didn’t reach out to any of them for anything for a very long time. I let them come to me and if I feel the need to, I give them a little bit of my time, but I let it be my decision and at my own pace.

I started loving myself like I deserved to be loved and then I found my self worth. And today, I only do what makes me happy, I only accept what makes me happy, I only give out what I can and not what is expected of me. Because in the past, I was all about what people needed from me, what is expected of me, how I can satisfy this person and please that person and make those people happy but now I am all about doing what is best for me, satisfying myself first before any other person, pleasing myself and making me happy first before anything else and I have never been happier!

Take a moment and ask yourself some really relevant questions, some very important questions:

Are you Happy?

Are you really, genuinely happy?

Are you happy with the way your life is and how it’s going?

Do you like the company you are keeping? Do you like the people around you? Do they like you? Do they make you sane? Do they add value in your life in any way? Are you happy having them in your life?

Do you really enjoy the things you spend your time doing?

When you sleep at night, do you sleep peacefully? Or do you have some doubts about the things you had done during the day? Do you regret the actions you made, the things you did? The things you said? The things you accepted from people?

Do you enjoy the company you keep?

Are you happy being a people pleaser?

Are you satisfied with the answers to these questions?

If you aren’t satisfied with your answers, then you need to change a lot of things about yourself.

You need to start thinking of you first before any other person.

You need to stop being a people’s pleaser and instead please YOU.

You need to be satisfied with every aspect of your being.

You need to be at peace when you sleep at night and extremely happy to face a new day when it’s dawn.

Believe me when I say this, when you are able to ask yourself these questions, make the relevant changes and then begin to love yourself selfishly, then you will begin to see your self worth. You will be so happy and pleased with how better your life had become.

I hope I have been able to share Something really beautiful and insightful with you on today’s episode of A Moment With Jennie? And I hope my words have been a tool of motivation to at least one person reading this.

I will be leaving you with a beautiful quote by Andrew Mathews.

A healthy self love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing things which add quality and beauty to life.

Thank you so much for spending A Moment With Jennie, I hope to see you next time and share some more amazing time with you. Thanks for reading!

Learn To Love You First.

LEARN TO LOVE YOU FIRST:

This is the very first article on my blog and I would like to discuss something that is of utmost importance to every single living being. It is usually something we tend to over look most times. Something we don’t seem to consider as important. But it is actually the most important part of our existence as humans. Love. Love is everything. When we love, we tend to be selfless, free, happy, fulfilled. And when we are loved in return, it is the very best feeling in the world. Loving right and being loved right is so very under rated, because a lot of us don’t know what it means to love right and be loved right. And that’s why there are several cases of broken homes, failed marriages, countless breakups, ruined friendships and partnerships, etc. Which is very sad really because we all need Love. Life itself is short, why not live it loving the right person well and being loved right in return? And all of this, true love, loving right and being loved right start with self love which is what a lot of people are still ignorant of in this time and age. Love you first, Love you well, Love you right and only then can you begin to understand what true love is, accept it and appreciate it when it’s given to us in its pure form.

Self Love: The Most Important part of our existence as humans, as lovers.

Below is a quote that sums up the importance of self love in its entirety. And further down, I’ll be sharing my personal thoughts on self love and also share a few personal experiences.

Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball

As difficult as it is to admit, I believe it’s best we always tell ourselves the truth. So many people out there have no idea how to love or be loved. And that is because they do not yet know what love is or understand the concept of love. When you know what love is, understand how it works, learn all there is to know about love and loving and being loved, only then will you begin to live your best life. And that’s a fact.

A lot of broken relationships today, a lot of broken homes today, a lot of failed marriages today are as a result of one person or all parties involved not being able to love properly or accept love in its purest form. And that’s Because they do not yet KNOW what true love means or how to even begin to love. And because they do not know how to love, they can’t accept love especially when it is real and pure.

Love, true love begins with one’s self. You have to look at yourself. Look at all of you, bare yourself to yourself. Go totally naked before you and see you in a way no one else ever could, in a way no one else ever will. You need to love yourself physically, mentally and every other way. Love yourself in such a way that, nothing and nobody could ever think less of you or make you doubt who you are.

A good way to do this is to get a full length mirror, go naked before your mirror and take a good intimate look at yourself. This exercise works best for loving ourselves physically. Because these days we live in a world with a lot of body shaming happening everywhere. Both online and offline. A lot of people hate their body, they don’t want to go out for fear of what people will say about their body. They feel small, ugly, insignificant and doubt themselves. Because they don’t think or know that they are beautiful, they don’t believe it when other people tell them they are beautiful. People like this are too many to keep track of and they are scarred in the worse way possible. Some of these people could be scarred for life. And that’s why SELF LOVE is the most important form of love and the best. We need to love our physical selves as well as our mental self. Get that full length mirror, let go of all that fear, all the doubt, let go of all the negative comment you have read or heard about your body, ignore those little voices telling you that you are not beautiful/handsome because those voices are lying you. Take off all your clothes, every single item of clothing you have on. Take it all off and stand in front of the mirror. Look at your body, take in every feature, take note of whatever flaw you may believe yourself to have. Touch them gently and passionately, admire them, worship your body, accept who you are in a way no one else ever could. Repeat this exercise at least twice every day. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. When you you do this, you will learn to gradually accept every single physical flaw you have and then love them all passionately.

After accepting and loving our physical body, the next thing we must do is dig deep into ourselves and pinpoint every thing people around us have previously complained about. Take out a piece of paper, write out ‘your bad character/traits’. Learn those traits we know make us bad, understand why we can’t seem to let them go, know why we are passionately holding on them. Make all the excuses we can come up with and then begin to tell ourselves the truth. Admit that these things we do are wrong, apologize to yourself for not being willing to admit it earlier and then begin to learn how to let go of these bad characters/traits. Day by day, we work on ourselves, learn and relearn how to be better humans for use and for those around us. Unlearn the bad traits that seem to push people away from us. Toss those nasty attitudes into the bin and trash them, never to be a part of use again.

Lastly, we need to learn how to speak positively to ourselves. Say sweet words to ourselves every morning, say positive words to ourselves. Pray for ourselves. Speak positivity into our beings, affirm to everything good.

Let us do these things regularly and watch how we will come to admire ourselves, love ourselves in a way we didn’t even think was possible. We will grow better physically, mentally and emotionally. Even spiritually.

Until recently, I too have been doing it all wrong. I was not loving my partners right, I was reluctant to receive and accept any form of love. I was quick to hurt others because I was afraid of being hurt, because I didn’t think anyone could really love me or that I was capable of loving anyone, of loving myself. I avoided serious relationships because once it gets serious, I begin to feel stuck and I want out immediately and so I hurt them and push them away. It took me years but I was finally able to pinpoint what the problem was. I wrote down all the things I had been doing wrong, all the ways I was hurting those around me and by extension myself. I looked at myself in the mirror. I criticized myself, admonished myself, talked to myself. And then I started working on those things I was doing wrong. I started speaking positively to myself. When I pray, I declare good things on to myself. I take daily affirmations seriously. I sleep well. I eat well. I drink lots of water. I work out when I can, I laugh more, smile more, talk to the important people in my life. I try to be positive to myself and with myself. I work on my mind and mental health, I work on growing my spirituality, I work out to get the body I desire for myself, I let myself feel, feel the good in me and around me. I started to Love me. And today, I love me the most. I have put in the work. I am still putting in the work, I will continue to put in the work because I am a work in progress and some day I will be as perfect as any human can be, for me, myself and for those around me.

I put together a little lost of a few things you can try out to help you grow a positive mindset towards life and help you love yourself better and be a better human being altogether:

1.Eat well.

2.Learn to exercise.

3.Daily affirmations.

4.Positive mindset.

5.Laugh and smile often.

6.Drink lots of water.

7.Travel as much as you can, if you can afford to.

8.Meet new people, make new friends, attend parties, mingle, try out new restaurants.

9.If you can’t afford to travel, spend a day or two at any cozy hotel, just relax, and be taken care of.

10.Read books on self improvement, Love and motivation.

11.Read books on topics that interests you. Just make sure you read because reading also helps boost our mental health growth.

12.Talk to people who want to see you at your best.

13.Sleep and rest well.

That will be all for now. Thank you for spending A Moment With Jennie, I really hope this article will be as helpful to y’all as it has been to me, as it still is to me. We will continue on more beautiful topics on the next post. Believe me, there are more fun topics to discuss on and I promise to talk on as many of them as I can. Thank you for reading!